Twelve Women on a Table for More: A Lunch Gathering with Pelumi Nubi

Images by Noels_insight

If this blog post is magically up today, only three days after I met Pelumi Nubi, it’s because, as opposed to putting the writing of this post in a future to-do list, I decided to just write it. Pelumi said action is better than perfection, and if the first woman in the world to drive solo from London to Lagos is telling me to just do the thing and not overthink it, then I better listen.

The invite for this gathering read “A Table For More.” Pelumi designed it for women seeking more: courage, connection and real conversation. I went because I am always excited to be around women, and I wanted to meet this woman who has shown with her own life that it is possible to see the world on your terms. I wanted to meet this person who truly believes impossible is nothing, this woman who has experienced different cultures, people and places while still owning all of her roots.

The invite also read, Dress code: Elegant and Chic. You won’t believe it, but I went on Google to really understand the meaning of chic and elegant. I was getting nervous thinking about what to wear, and as flimsy as this may sound, it was almost grounds for me not to go. I first thought, even if I put together something from my closet, what will I wear on my feet? I wear a size 47 or 48 depending on the type of shoes, so getting pretty shoes is always a hassle for me. I simply do not own shoes that are made for the girlies in mind. I decided to just wear white sneakers or slides because a gathering of people that would mock shoes is not the kind of gathering I imagine Pelumi Nubi would attract. I have followed her since COVID and I could feel her authenticity, joy, grit and grace from my screen.

Anyway, I wore this light blue Ankara jumpsuit with dark brown patterns on it. I paired it with a white shirt, white sneakers and my mother’s gold jewellery and suddenly, I felt like a fashionista.

I got there and, from the entrance, I knew I had just stepped into an event curated with so much intention. It was the way the security conducted themselves, the way the staff welcomed me. I walked into the Onomo Allure restaurant, and the soft music, lighting, arrangement, brown aesthetic and overall Africanness of the space completely floored me.

I see Pelumi sitting in her radiant pink and orange bubu, the embroidery at the top of her bubu is art. Her earrings looked like an Adinkra symbol. I was not sure, but I was too enamoured to ask where they were from or if she knew what it signified. She is smiling at me as I hug Yvonne, this amazing writer friend I have known only online for years. I don’t know how long it would have taken for us to meet in person, because we didn’t even know we lived in the same city.

Image by Noels_insight

Pelumi’s aura is warm, vibrant and illuminating. It’s a vibe that sees through you but also puts you at ease. She took us to the poolside for a chat, while more amazing women arrived. Pelumi asked us to introduce ourselves. She is very mindful of the push and pull in the room, very intentional about everybody’s needs and opinions.

I am listening to women from all walks of life introduce themselves and be vulnerable. I am also very moved by the beauty in the room. The gathering had not even fully started, but I knew then, in that round of intros, that I was meant to be there at that time. Nothing else could have felt the way being in that room felt.

At this time, drinks were coming out, a glass here, a glass there. There was a handsome Chef who was sadly not on the menu. His name is Chef Bien. I gave myself a pat on the back when I asked if bien meant good, and he said yes. I should be better at my French as a WAEC A1 French student and a proud cutter of multiple Duolingo streaks, but here we are.

Chef Bien is evidently good with his hands because he served us Ewa Agoyin with chilli pepper and some kind of crust and it was spicy. I am sure he gave it a more fancy name, but as you can guess, I was carried away by other sizzling issues. 

From the presentation of the Ewa Agoyin, how it was served in a small earthy pot of raw beans and red dry pepper, I knew we were about to experience food as art, aka fine dining. I have a blog post coming up about experimenting with food and I was throwing a wish into the air about a chance to experience food outside my comfort zone. My chi was listening because Chef Bien of Onomo Allure really said, hold my beer.

We had avocado salad. It was not bad at all, but still, wherever there is avocado slander, wake me up. We also had black rice risotto with grilled fillet, mashed potatoes, Italian tiramisu, French toast, etc. In fact, the whole menu at Onomo. But beyond the food, the wine, the ambience and the aesthetics, there were heartfelt conversations in between. Pelumi is a fantastic host. 

In the company of these eleven women were tears, laughter, love, and a genuine interest in everyone’s faces as a sister spoke her truth and another arranged her words. We were twelve women on that table. Pelumi said she was intentional about that number. And twelve, according to divine knowledge, signifies completeness, a kind of discipleship, a number that says “Here is this mantle, here is a wing, here is a foundation, run with it!”

I was blessed by everyone’s honesty, how it was clear that this gathering was no mistake and we were leaving with more. I mean, look at me, my last blog post was 5th January 2024. More than a year ago, but here I am writing my way through, because I needed to get out of my own way and just document this wholesome experience. It’s honestly a win in my books.

From talking to everyone, I may have some material for a nature essay I am working on. I don’t feel motivated in the glossy motivational speaker way. I just feel prompted to do, moved to try. I feel assured that even though life is unpredictable, I am not running out of time. I am not too young or old to reinvent myself. I feel like life is a gift and, in Pelumi’s words, “Take action on the things you want to do.” 

I think my first point of doing was dancing. I think it was brave of me to dance in public after so many years of just hiding in my body. I think it was beautiful dancing with Pelumi, even more beautiful watching everyone else dance in their own right. 

The music at Onomo was great and to that woman who sang live, if you ever get to read this, your voice is electric, you looked amazing, you were unforgettable. 

This blog post is already longer than I anticipated, but the conclusion of it is; I met women who held space, were vulnerable and showed with their life stories, what it means to be one’s authentic self in this cosplaying world.

On that table with Pelumi was Yvonne, whose lovely trousers and petal earrings I must steal and whose hair had me wishing I could grow mine out for a day. Yvonne, who I think is as stunning as her poetry and who had the most charming smile.

There was Emmanuella, whose pink kimono and Bantu-style hair made me squeal in aesthetic delight. Emmanuella, who I consider incredibly gifted and hardworking. Emmanuella, whose documenting put us at ease because we felt adequately photographed and knew we would revel the evening through her lens. 

There was Nwamaka, whose dress had red flowers on them—flowers that looked like roses. Nwamaka, whose powerful tattoo warmed my Igbo heart because it read “Onye kwe, chi ya ekwe” which loosely translates to “When a person agrees, their god agrees too” or “When a person says yes, their personal spirit says yes too” it reminded me that my success or failure is not just about fate, but also about personal actions, choices and determination. That I can be the architect of my own misfortune or I can be determined and committed, and my  chi will support me.

There was Zoe, who had an aura of peace, power and gentleness. Zoe, whose beauty was just refreshing to witness. Zoe, whose first impression for me was a woman who listens and sees, so I was not surprised to learn about her podcast, Matters of the Heart. She is a woman with depth!

Then there was Abigail, who I consider such a force, a woman who is incredibly brilliant, and knows how to own a room. Abigail, whose pointy black shoes and lovely black dress were both chic and elegant. Abigail, who put law and coding in the same sentence and it did not sound impossible. Abigail, whose voice I consider very lush.

There was Jane, who was to me a quiet wonder, beautiful in an ephemeral way. Jane, who gave me major builder vibes. A woman who knows how to make awe tangible. A woman who loves to see and does not waste the sight. A woman who is precious about vision and does heartwork.

There was Asesosa, whose dress was as colourful and stunning as I perceive her heart and person to be. Asesosa, who embodies such a pristine brand of courage. Asesosa who was a delight, who felt to me like a woman whose presence is balm, Asesosa, who I consider such an ebony queen!

There was Salome, who has a strength to her that I can’t fully articulate in words. Salome, who is gorgeous in a very intercontinental way. You know when beauty transcends. Salome, who I just perceive is a creative genius in all the ways that matter.

There was Rukayat, whose cowrie-beaded locs I find very stunning. Rukayat, who has a kind of defiance—one that I suspect has held her through both hard and thrilling days. Rukayat, whose entire demeanour is a masterclass on the beauty of wearing one’s heart on their sleeve. Rukayat, who I can now trust with my taste buds because she shares my sentiment on avocado and is owing me an avocado powder recipe!

Then there is Gladys, who has a full laugh. Gladys of good joy. Gladys, whose energy and animation is contagious. Gladys, whose leopard print heels and locs complement each other like slay. Gladys, whose face card I consider timeless. Gladys, who drove through the night to drop me and some other women off at home. Gladys, whose kindness I will not forget for a very long time.

I should stop here, but my whole heart of gratitude to Pelumi Nubi for being the catalyst for this very transformative gathering, for affording me the chance to meet these amazing community of women, for sharing so honestly her heart and intellect, for showing very clearly with her own life that the limits and boxes don’t exist. May life always be kind to her and hers.

Amen.

Ps: All typos & punctuation errors belong to my alter ago, she writes mostly at night and hates editing her own stuff.