in Issues

Wednesday, 12 August 2026

AND SO WILL MY CREATIVE PROCESS SURVIVE?

Roseline Overlooking the ocean

If you are reading this piece, I am going to, as usual, spiral and just dance around the page, and the fact that I have to give this disclaimer before I write always marvels me, because who says my brain is supposed to operate chronologically? Is it a crime to just share my thoughts as is? Why do I feel like someone will judge my distortion? Is the world even moving in a successive, progressive way? Is there one right way of doing anything?

I have come to accept that normal may be good, but it’s not entirely my reality. My brain is an ebb and flow of memories, to-do lists, mistakes, hurt, joy, and language. It is the blessing and curse of being a creative, of having a gift to steward. There is a burden, a guilt that comes with not creating when and how you desire to create. It feels like something is eating at you, like you are drowning, like you are failing. I know this because I have been there for many weeks, in this slump of not doing or doing but not in the way I think to be enough.

I consider my ability to write a gift, but a strange, demanding type of gift, if I can call it that. A gift stricto sensu is a present given to someone without asking for anything in return, but my craft is asking everything of me, everything. So on some days, it does not feel like this blessed offering that should ideally liberate me; it feels like a hostage situation. I told someone once that if I don’t write, then I die, and they said, God forbid. I want to forbid it too. To say that I can go on into the world without maybe journaling or scribbling or telling stories or stewarding language and rendering it on the page, but the truth is that a life that doesn’t involve any of the above is exactly the kind of life I do not want. And I mean also the process, I want the process, like the whole pain of staring at a wall for hours to mine a sentence, the reading through tons of books to help you frame a complete thought. I promise I am not a fan of torture, but there is something innately powerful and alluring about the writing and creative process that I deeply respect. And it is only for this reason that I sometimes worry about Artificial Intelligence, this new age of writing, and writing fast with AI.

This post is not about that AI or all its nuances, but I was once in a room full of creatives arguing for and against the use of AI in the creative process, and I was wide-eyed. The lines have blurred, and everyone has all sorts of justifications for outsourcing their thinking to a machine, and oh, this is not a self-righteous post. She who is with sin cannot be the first to cast a stone. Please read the sin very loosely. The point is, I create my best work when I go through the process, and I allow it to go through me. That’s how I approach refinement, that’s how I honor the stories and the life I want to render on the page, but the cares of life are fighting for my process. Capitalism is too, and maybe I should start a series on being a creative navigating corporate and how my dreams as an artist have been tested in both good and difficult ways. I think I am writing in an attempt to find people like me going through it and to say, make una help me, or really, you are not alone. You need to protect your process, and as spontaneous as I pride myself to be, I have realized, having been working a serious corporate job for a while, that I need structure and I need a plan. My creative process must survive. You have to be almost militant about it. Like literally, it’s a fight in today’s day and age, and we have to win.

I am also struggling with reading. I buy books when I can. I am the first to register to attend a lunch or reading, even though I may not attend. I know about the authors and maybe to an extent the premise of their work, so if you put me in a room full of book lovers, I will hold my own. But I also feel like a fraud, like I only have surface knowledge of things, and deep calleth unto deep. But I am not finishing the books. I wonder if it’s my attention span or the fact that I am trying to read everything and anything. From poetry to books on development to fiction. I can go from reading a short story about travel to a review of How China Escaped the Poverty Trap, and from reading a poem about birds to listening to Edible Economics by Ha-Joon Chang on Audible. I have recently decided that, to help my thought process, I’ll go back to reading jurisprudence, logic and philosophical thought from my days studying law in university. My heart is asking me to slow down and gather myself, my brain is asking me to keep going, and I’ll find my rhythm. My time is telling me that whatever I need to do, I need to do it fast, I need to decide.

I have not found a solution to my quagmire yet, but I know literature, writing and creativity are important because one of the reasons I am writing this and will most likely publish it, as disjointed as it is, is because I have come to believe truly that the only way out is through. Not under or above, not by running or waiting fir perfection, but through. As per whatever I am going through, I should be going through it because that’s how I get out. So I am going through it by writing and deciding to publish this, by discovering new music, and by reading still, even as my attention span disappears before my eyes.

This is an incomplete piece, matter of fact, three budding essays in one, and I can spend my days leaving this in the drafts, but I say, how about I share my contemplation and struggle? What do you have to say about it?

Ps: All typos and grammatical errors belong to my alter ego Black Rose, that girl be doing all sorts!




Friday, 5 January 2024

TIME AND CHANCE: REFLECTING ON MY RESIDENCY AT THE LIBRARY OF AFRICA AND THE AFRICAN DIASPORA


A photo of Roseline at LOATAD

Time by itself means nothing, no matter how fast it moves, unless we give it something to carry for us; something we value... ~ Ama Ata Aidoo

  1. I think of my residency at The Library Of Africa And The African Diaspora (LOATAD) in terms of time, possibility and perfect chance. I think of it as divine clocking; one  that has ticked its way into changing my life, literally. Time started doing its thing when I submitted my LOATAD application less than 10 minutes to the deadline. Life had made me forget the timeline after the open call. I only realized the deadline had reached when a writer friend asked if I had already sent in my application. 


  1. I tried to get into LOATAD in 2022 and was unsuccessful. So on this second try, I sat in my parents home panicking and considering not submitting because I could not possibly craft a worthy application in less than 24 hours. I say to everyone who has asked me how I got into LOATAD that God whispered an ingenious idea to me in the middle of my finicky and I ran with it in doubt and pleading faith. Typing as fast as my fingers could manage.


  1. In my letter of motivation, I write, “I  need time and space away from the noise, demand and familiarity of home to give my writing a new chance.” and I mean it. The year had been tough and I could not, as I had done in the past, mine this toughness into my writing. Everything around me had a stifling sameness and I wanted to do a new thing with my writing. I knew LOATAD; this brimming hub of books, culture, history and sheer African possibility was going to offer me this newness. You can imagine my animation when I refreshed my email on a hot Friday morning to see “Congratulations on your successful 2023 WAW Residency application!”  That I did not open that email immediately but instead ran out of my room, fell to the floor and screamed the whole building down for about 10 straight minutes is a gross understatement. 


    Writer in Residence at LOATAD


  1. When I collected myself, I told everyone who mattered to me that the stunningly unthinkable had happened. That my writing, this thing I often wonder if I really know how to do is taking me out of my home country for the very first time.


  1. Sometimes all a writer needs is a chance. LOATAD gave me this chance. LOATAD is the reason I entered an airplane and saw the clouds up close for the first time in my life. The reason I lived in a new country, met new people, read new books and ate new food for a whole month. LOATAD is the reason I am now bold enough to write essays about my environment and self in the most distinct way possible. 


    A picture of an Airplane in the blue skies

  1. My residency started the moment I landed in Kotoka International Airport, Accra. James, a very kind and thoughtful driver was sent to pick me up from the airport. In the minutes he drove me to LOATAD we talked about the people, air, politics, education and diversity in both our countries. I asked questions about Ghana and he answered in an effusively calm and honest tone, delivering both criticism and patriotism in a way that influenced me to try and do the same. In that car ride I learnt that Ghana was more than this unitary systemized nation we were taught about in secondary school government classes - that it was in fact an ethnically diverse country with a radical political drive and a thriving culture. 


  1. The first person I saw when I arrived at LOATAD was Seth Avusuglo, Head of LOATAD Physical, a.k.a our residency manager, the one who had given us an orientation via zoom, the one who made sure my trip from Ebonyi, Nigeria to Accra, Ghana was seamless. 


  1. Seth showed me to my room and told me that Amanda Thomson from the just concluded Here and Now Writing Residency programme stayed in this room, that it was from here she wrote about birds and nature and everything in between, that it will be from this room that I would do the same with my writing. I think intention informs the finest kinds of writing. I would even argue that it produces the best kind. Seth understood my writing intentions enough to put me in a room that established precedent for this new idea I was exploring. I will always remember this with fondness and gratitude.


Window view at LOATAD

  1. I sat in that room, prayed for some minutes and went down to eat dinner with my fellow residents. I might need to write another essay to describe the good food at LOATAD. But just know that Chef Vida did not use our stomach to play and for this I am thankful. Our first dinner together was not as awkward as I expected. Everyone was warm and eager and cool. We played card games over noodles and eggs. We laughed. We quizzed each other. We cheered. 


    Waakye

  1. There was the unassuming, brilliant and mind-blowingly beautiful Tahnia who had given me the warmest hug when I mentioned my flight was stressful. There was Ese, an ebony dazzle of deep witted literary charisma. Kwame who  spoke lots of Twi,  and whose Akan philosophy made him act like an ancestor. Jeff who was not part of our cohort, but whose visits became an excellent addition to it. Then there was Akumbu; LOATAD’s  publications manager, whom I consider the warmth that nudged us all into a kind of comfort. We all loosened up during the card  games and talked and talked and went to bed late. 


    Card games at LOATAD

  1. The next morning Seth gave us a tour of the Library. Everything at LOATAD means something. The posters of books, the placement of pictures, the arrangement of chairs, the organization of books, the positioning of lighting, the documentaries playing in the background etc. It was during the tour that I fully understood the efficacy of where I was, and what it would continue to mean for my future artistic endeavors. I was limitlessly surrounded by  literature and I could swim in all its glory.


    LOATAD TOUR

LOATAD

  1. The best part about being surrounded by books at the residency was that I did not have to figure out what book to read all by myself. There were recommendations from Seth, who knew a ton of things about every book, word from my fellow residents about their excitement, curiosity or criticism of a book, then there were, believe it or not, whispers from the books themselves calling you and pulling you in, even as you sit or walk casually in the library. 


  1. If all LOATAD did was open its doors for us to come in and read and write it would have been more than enough but the opportunity this residency affords transcends just reading and writing. The thing is, the Library Of Africa And The African Diaspora is not just a library, it is a movement. Meaning you will discover new and powerful parts of your work here, meaning your work will take rooted and meaningful shape here, meaning you will be able to visit places of interest, and talk to people who have done and are doing transgenerational work. Meaning you will have no choice but to think of your body of work as an entity, as something capable of doing unprecedented things on the continent of Africa and beyond. We had a workshop with the renowned publisher and editor Ms Sarah Odedina about navigating the publishing industry as an African writer, it was insightful. The excitement and interest she showed when I introduced myself and my work has filled me with so much hope and great promise.


  1. I essentially went to LOATAD to write a series of vignettes on leaves. Had I not visited the Aburi Gardens and touched the trees and leaves myself, I would not have been able to write the kind of pieces I wrote. Would not have been able to make my fellow residents admit to never looking at the leaves I described the same way again. There is an inside joke about Nchuanwu leaves among us now. I packed the leaves with so much emotion, it started to mean many things. 


    Nut Meg tree, Aburi Gardens

  1. We visited the Nketia Archives of the Institute of African studies in the university of Ghana and the first thing Aunty Judith said when she saw us was “Look at all this Africanness in you!” with her bright, perfect open toothed smile. It was a brief but empowering moment. She spoke so masterfully about archiving, about the preservation of audio visual collections at Nketia archives, about the need for digitization of audio visual materials and how important it is for posterity, for heritage, for culture, for memory, for us. We talked about music and art and literature too. I left knowing that my work, everything I do, was too important to be lost, too important to not be preserved. 


    Institute of African Studies, University of Ghana

    With Judith Opoku Boateng at the J H Kwabena Nketia Archive

  1. The drive through James Town was to see people existing, living. To see monuments and buildings, to witness a history so present in the evolution of a place. The visit to Cape Coast and the Elmina Castle was to see where things happened, to understand the extent of the crime and wickedness that was slavery and to hear the gory stories of how Africans were treated by the colonial masters. I learnt that there will always be a kind of heaviness about our African history, but it's also time to be free from its aftermath.  


    Cape Coast Castle

    A portrait of a writer at Cape Coast Castle

  1. The visit to Kokrobitey institute also deserves a separate essay and if you've met Aunty Renée  you will understand why. I don't think I have met anyone who has made me so aware of sustainability, design and my environment as an African, as a woman, as a writer, as a creative, as a person, in the way that aunty Renée has. Listening to her meant understanding that real literacy is not just the ability to read and write but also the ability to read your environment, to know what nature gives you and what you are obliged to give in return. Aunty Renée made you observe your environment to know that everything you need is already here; it is on trees, on soil, in the ocean, it’s everywhere. Nothing on this earth serves only one purpose. A waste is never just waste. A trash is never just trash. A glass is not just half full or half empty; it is also an earring, a chandelier, a vase, bathroom decor, an endless possibility in the making.


    Flash cards at Kokrobitey Institute



Kokrobitey Institute Accra


The thing is, I cannot successfully describe my experience at the Kokrobitey institute to you in writing. I couldn't possibly use language to capture everything. Kokrobitey Institute needs witnessing, and like aunty
Renée said when I told her about my nature writing - a moment when she excitedly asked for pictures and videos of my artistic process and I had almost nothing to show, "You can not always depend on the written word." - a moment in which she showed me catalogs, flash cards and footage; a documentation of processes and outcomes made by her,  as well as interns, residents and workers at Kokrobitey. So I pray you meet the incredibly stylish and deeply sagacious Aunty Renée one day. I pray you get a chance to visit the Kokrobitey Institute, nobody can fully tell you, you must experience it  for yourself.


Renée Neblett with Roseline at Kokrobitey Insitute

Renée Neblett with Roseline at Kokrobitey Insitute

Renée Neblett

  1. My favorite spot at LOATAD was under the stairway. Under the warm light, where  Mbari was clearly written on the wall. Mbari being a  concept of Divine in the Igbo society popularized by Chinua Achebe. Meaning “Art as celebration," meaning to bring life back into art by bringing art into life. The Igbo girl in me adored that space.


Mbari LOATAD

  1. I also loved the library area opposite my room. Where the shelves are filled with books from all walks of life. That area with  grey couches and a center table was the assembly for a writing ritual. I and Tahnia, my fellow resident and now bosom friend, met there early in the mornings, talked, laughed, read, shared stories and wrote into the night. Ask Seth, his conclusion about us is that we don't sleep. 


    LOATAD

  1. We stayed up because we could, but also because we were building what I am certain has become good ground for our powerful bodies of work. In other truth we were up to make up for procrastinating. Critique sessions are compulsory at LOATAD. You will hear about what your work has done and what it can do better. Shout out to Akumbu for moderating the sessions with so much grace and purpose.


  1. I describe our critique sessions as a gentle tearing apart and a deliberate piecing back together. To have my writing read with so much intention, care, excitement and respect has been deeply precious to me. Every week before our sessions  I am jittery because I have written a new thing and don't know what to expect, but each time I am met with honesty and constructive feedback. Critique sessions showed me how brilliant my fellow residents are and how far and deep they see. They see truly & they see beyond. It also exposed me to the stunning, important, infinite and diverse work we are doing. Gave me the privilege to be in  the midst of writers who would make their mark in this world. Every week I come as I am. Sometimes with so many words, sometimes with unfinished sentences, sometimes with scattered thoughts littered across the page, but this is how I come. I leave differently. I leave sure. I leave knowing. I leave prepared.  I leave with everything I need to move my work forward. I leave above all else, a better writer than I came.


    Critique Sessions at LOATAD

  1. I left  LOATAD inspired to pay more attention to my world. I left with a hunger to create something that will outlive me. LOATAD exists because one woman, Sylvia Arthur, woke up in 2017 and decided that African Literature mattered enough to be accessed, platformed, recognized, funded, preserved and celebrated in this way. It’s life changing. 


  1. Ama Ata Aidoo was right about time. The one Month I spent at LOATAD ran like the speed of light and I couldn't believe it was over. And although, it moved fast, it gave me something to carry, something to value. It gave me memorable movie nights and fresh palm-wine, gave me access to over 4000 books, gave me opportunities to network, gave me life long friendships, gave me the right to look at my parents and say here, look at my writing, look at all the things it's capable of and for this I will always be grateful. 








Tuesday, 18 July 2023

Keep your heart safe and your writing spontaneous

Black and white photo of a black girl in Afro

If I am to be a great writer then everything I feel should be considered a gift, including the deep urge to do anything but write. So much of writing is channeling emotions, actions and inactions and pressing them into sentences. If I feel sad, it's a goldmine, if I feel joy, it's a thing to interrogate. Even my anxiety and desire to disappear is a budding exposé. It is as though writing does not allow for dormancy and aloofness of feeling. No emotion is safe with me. If I don't express it today, it will crawl into a story I am writing tomorrow or I will just be continually burdened by it. Maya Angelou must have felt this when she said,


 “There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”


What I am constantly thinking about are the ways in which I must tell these stories, especially since a certain kind of readership and relevance is important to me. 


It's been months since I last wrote on this blog. I created my blog spontaneously and it is this spontaneity that has sustained it ever since. Of all the 58 posts I have written on here, only few of them were actually ‘planned.’ There is a surge before any post is written. I am not one of those writers who sit down and draft and plan, it just never works for me. Some of the best ideas I have gotten, even outside the writing space, did not come from planning and scheduling. It is usually me mindlessly scrolling on the internet or watching something till I have an aha moment that sends me to google doc or my notepad or WhatsApp( yes I text myself like myself is another person) Sometimes it's a dream. I have dreamt a poem before. I woke up and wrote it and it was fire. Sometimes it's during my Bible study or prayer time, I may be inspired to write a poem about grief because I read about empty jars in the Bible. The mention of fine fabric in the Bible may inspire a short story about warmth. I am going somewhere. 


There is a creator I recently started following on Instagram, Keyede, and I really love her content. Her video on procrastination made me wrestle with my thoughts a little bit. She spoke about the sudden 3:am resolution we have to get our lives in order after wasting valuable time doing something unimportant and how it is not sustainable.  In her words,


“ If you are honest and self aware enough, you will admit that these spontaneous intervention schemes, they don't work”


Don’t they?


She also used words like habitual and repetitive, both words I cannot fully associate with my writing process. Is my writing habitual, is it repetitive? If I am to be a successful writer should it be?


I listened to Adele talk about songwriting in an interview with Apple Music and she said,


“Whenever I have a successful writing session or it's not really a session, it always comes at a really akward point in my day. I always try and pinpoint what it is exactly that has made that song end up being finished and me thinking it's good enough to be on a record to play to people, and I always try to work out what it is so I can sort of jar it and then use it whenever I wanna write a song but I never can.” 


She goes on to talk about how her ideas come spontaneously, often in the middle of the night. Now read Adele’s words again in the context of your writing experience, replace song with story andon a record to play to people’ with ‘published in literary magazines for people to read.’  Stay with me. 


I started actively submitting my writing to lit mags & presses when my writer friend sent me a message on WhatsApp, during our writing workshop together. I had read one of my poems in the workshop and according to her the poem was so good she tried to find more of my writing online but there weren't that many pieces,  but then she found my blog and saw that I wrote a lot here. She wanted to know if I did it on purpose. If I was one of those writers who only preferred to publish their own pieces without caring about the visibility that submitting to literary magazines could bring. My answer was no. I just had not been fully indoctrinated into the world of submitting to magazines and saying "attached below are five shorts,” or  checking if my work has changed to ‘in progress’ on submittable or waiting as long as six months to get either a rejection or acceptance. We talked about it and I started actively submitting. Like crazy. Like everywhere. 


In that same interview Adele goes on to say that being an artist comes from deep within us and it is a necessity that we have to put it out. She feels as though art has become a transaction, a trade. On one hand,  I understand but on the other writers, artists and creatives must eat. Is it even possible to draw a line between passion and trade when you desire to make the passion a source of livelihood?


I confess that the reason I stopped posting on my blog as much is because I am fighting. I am debating a lot of things. When I get a writing idea, I am immediately thinking about which lit mag to submit it to, if it fits their aesthetic, if I would get an acceptance. I would observe something and want to spontaneously make a blog post about it and just remember that there is a submission guideline I read that somehow suggests my observation would be a good fit. I legit used to write full blown short stories on this blog before and it was amazing. I don’t think I can anymore. I am constantly thinking of places to submit them to, almost like I feel my stories are more credible if they are published elsewhere. The thing about being in this unhealthy headspace is that I am getting nothing done. The urgency and spontaneity that fueled  my writing has been slowed down by the desire to have a certain type of status as a writer, and this type of  desire can quickly become a bland burden because it is no longer about what I want to share out of love for my craft but what is best suitable for a world someone else has created. I  like to think my writing flows from God to me and that the flow will never stop, that I write from a place of abundance but I keep contradicting myself by rationing my writing at the expense of status and visibility. All I do these days is bookmark open calls  and watch as their deadlines come and go. I am not actively blogging or submitting to lit mags, so Adele might be onto something with all this talk about trade. 


Sometimes I wish I could jar the things that made up one great story and recycle it to make more and better stories that will grow wings and fly into the world by themselves so I don’t have to do the choosing and waiting. Leave me and my wishful thinking(insert tears)


If at this point you are waiting for me to arrive at one big teaching moment or to hear what I am doing to navigate this, I am doing nothing. Okay this is something; this spontaneous purgation of  emotion that has become this blog post is something. I am also trying to just write without thinking of a home for the work. I think it’s a big mistake writing to appease an audience. As much as writers want to be read, Writing for readership is a risky thing. Readership cannot be the only foundation for which your writing stands. It is not solid to write solely for readers who might see your work and decide to go a separate way. It is safer to write first for yourself. Let the fulfillment be innate; for you first. Like Toni Morrison so graciously put it, 


If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it”  


As selfish as it sounds, let it be you first. Write whatever feels like purpose to you. Tell the stories you want to tell, stories that matter to you.


This is a note to self really. I hope to look back at this post a year from now and be proud that I had the courage to stop seeking validation and just create. And I hope this is your testimony too if you can relate to this. If you read up to this point, thank you. And as always this post was all over the place. But I hope you got the drift. Bye 



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