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Friday, 29 November 2019

# Lifestyle

SELF LOVE IS NOT VAIN

Red

When I wanted to write this, I had a lot of thoughts like is it even Valentines Day? What do you even know about self-love? Is this blog for you or for people? Etc.

 Well ,the reasons I shouldn’t write this blog post are the same reasons I am writing it. First, It would be such a shame and a great disservice to humanity if the only time we want to talk about love or show love is during valentine’s day. Secondly, self-love is a daily, reaffirming and conscious effort and we have so much trivialized it. Thirdly this blog is our blog and we will learn together.

“Eat as you love yourself. Move as you love yourself. Speak as you love yourself. Act as you love yourself.”
    Often times we seek attention and validation from other people so much that we forget that it is our duty first to validate ourselves before others. I wanted this post to be a love letter to myself, something you can read to yourself too but once I start typing the spirit starts leading and trust me to follow Amen!

 I think the problem we have is that we expect so much love from others when we have not given that measure of love to ourselves. If we are going to be logical about this why should I even love you if you don’t love yourself? If you don’t value yourself what will be my gain if I choose to value you?
“Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.”
Back in secondary school, I wished someone would send me love letters. I had friends who received lots of them and I didn’t know then whether I wanted them because I loved to read or because I felt unloved. PS: I am more likely to read and reply a text or email than I would receive calls or even call back. I think if you know me well you should know this by now.

 My birthday was the best period for me in secondary because I got a lot of handmade birthday cards and notes. People wrote sweet things about me and I still have most of them.

These cards were almost as sweet if not sweeter than the love letters I read from  my classmates/seniors, some of their boyfriends were bad writers and poets but ok ( people of God, I am not being a hater, It’s true) I mean what is the meaning of ‘’the colour of your daywear takes my breath away’’  mtcheww  uncle go and  buy pink oxygen and fix your respiratory problem abeg.
Love letter
Image by Claudius Hegedus via unsplash


I wanted my own Love letter, now I know better but then I was not satisfied with birthday cards I wanted a boy to validate me, to exaggerate my qualities and give me butterflies.

 I didn’t love myself enough to know that I didn’t need a few words from the opposite sex to feel loved and appreciated. This is what we do to ourselves and its bad. When you don’t love yourself enough anybody can give you half baked attention and you will take it like that because you don’t know worth.
“Loving yourself isn’t vanity. It’s sanity.” – Andre Gide

You know in the bible It is written that If you don’t love you don’t know God and If you don’t know God my guess is you will not make heaven, stay with me, now God says love your neighbour as yourself meaning that you are loving this neighbour with the measure of love you have for yourself and if you don’t have it, well you can’t give what you don’t have. 

Also even if you manage to love this neighbour and you don’t love yourself you still don’t know God because Love is missing somewhere and you still may not enter the kingdom.  self-love is required for you to enter the kingdom of God. The same goes for forgiveness, forgive yourself for that avoidable mistake or whatever thing you think you did! it goes both ways. 

1john 4:8; Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love

When it comes to relationship I have a slight problem with this ‘ my other half, my missing rib thing’ because sometimes it is largely misunderstood and it lures some people into thinking that every human being is incomplete and needs another human being somewhere to complete them. Build the love and fulfilment for yourself. You are a complete human being already, you are not half baked or half-formed. God only said it is not good for man to be alone. 

He did not say I have made man Incomplete. you are whole and hopefully, you meet someone who is whole and together you both become wholesome. You don’t even need to start measuring your worth, you were born worthy.

Whole + whole = wholesome
love
image by Tim mossholder via unsplash
“The fact that someone else loves you doesn’t rescue you from the project of loving yourself.”

“A healthy self-love means we have no compulsion to justify to ourselves or others why we take vacations, why we sleep late, why we buy new shoes, why we spoil ourselves from time to time. We feel comfortable doing things which add quality and beauty to life.” – Andrew Matthews 

So this is a love letter to me and to you. Read it to yourself first before anyone else.
love
Image from @contentpixie via Unsplash


Dear girl/ boy, man/ woman
I look at you and I see the essence of living, the colour of your eyes paint a perfect picture and I don’t know a better view. 

I gaze at the wonder Lines gracing your palms and I wonder what beauty lies in our path as I take your palm in mine.

 I may not know what it means to be perfect but I know you’re the most perfect version of imperfection there is.

 Every arc and curve on your body is an atlas outline of the beauty in your making. I want to ask the creator what Mother nature and Earth did to deserve such a bedazzling creature.

 I feel the texture of your hair, even the baldness of your scalp and all I can say is there is no uneasiness there. It is smooth enough to fit any crown, to lead any troop, to be queen, to be king, to be anything.

 I am in awe of your lips, how your tongue touches your teeth then forms a mini pout before your teeth slightly bit your lower lip into an invitation when you pronounce the word love. I love everything that you are becoming, everything that you are and are not. I accept you. I take you. You are enough.


I am out please; it is not time to write my wedding vows. All I am saying is your matter and you matter equally so give yourself love and attention. Eat out by yourself some time, Netflix and chill alone sometimes. Now tell me one thing you love about you whether it is your physical appearance or character traits then write them down.

 Me I love that I can hype people, I love my Lips when I wear lip sticks or glosses and I love my collar bones even though they are almost nonexistent. Let’s hear yours.
Lip gloss




16 comments:

  1. You don’t even need to start measuring your worth, you were born worthy....... Best sentence here, thanks Rosa, you don't know how much this has done for me

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  2. I love my smile and my skin, my vibe and my feel. I love me . I love me. I love me.

    Thank you Roseline. This is just beautiful

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  3. Great work. Cheers to self-love.

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  4. First, I love my gap tooth,and even when I smile, I've this fulfilment in me that someone out there is falling for my smile,lol cause I know my smile is beautiful

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    1. Yes yes I am positive your smile a day will keep the doctor away..i am falling already

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  5. Okk. This is an AMAZING PIECE. Rosy thank you for this love letter

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  6. I must continue giving me some real self love. Thank you Roseline.🤗

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  7. I love my smile, my eyes, my imperfect skin.. LOL and I absolutely love this piece. Thank you for reminding me to stop wallowing in self pity.

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  8. I love how I think. I love my smile and my eyes. In this piece, I can now see you. I love how you wrote it like how only u can write it. This is really food for thought

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    Replies
    1. Oshee Tinker Bell..i love everything about yourself that you love too especially the smile...thank you

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I am a writer, law student, poet ,storyteller who intends to change the narrative one line at a time. , click here →

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