IT IS NOT YOUR TIME TO DIE

Illustration by Petra Eriksson

I have not posted in a while because life lately has been a lot to handle. 
I have lost so many things these past few weeks that I am now convinced God is purposely giving me the decluttering I never knew I needed.

There has been news of death everywhere and it just left a sour taste in my mouth. I have asked all the questions from why do people die, to why do good people die, to why does death not have any sympathy. 

My SD card woke up one morning and decided to clear itself. Something about it being corrupted. It didn't give any sign, it just up and cleared alongside tons of important photos and documents. I felt empty like I had lost time and memory. I had no clue whatsoever. I was numb.

Then I suddenly felt peace. Sometimes when you lose a part of you, it awakens a new side of you. 

It makes you discover some kind of strength, gives you thick skin.
Losing someone or something can be painful but sometimes it's a wake-up call. To push you, to spur you, to encourage you.

When I lost those files. I realized how uncertain life can be, I learned caution and preparation. Let me use a cliche to explain it to you " do not put all your eggs in one basket." I have a 500GB hard drive, I have a laptop, what then stopped me from backing my files up? 

Loss is so dynamic that sometimes you prepare and bad things still happen. Life is not Originals or witches of East end where you will be immortal or just cast a protection spell on yourself. Life is way more complicated than that. Sigh. 

The most you can do is pray, build a relationship with God, and stay safe. Just do the needful.

When it comes to losing loved ones, I really don't have much to tell you except that time will make everything a lot easier, and clearer to you. Hang in there.

You will learn power and endurance. Your heart is very elastic, it can take more than you know,  ask people who have lost people they thought they would never live without, some of them are still here living and strong. 

This post is all over the place because that's exactly how I feel at the moment.
But know this, you have the power to rebuild, to recreate, to invent a new space. To move on. You can heal. You did not die because it is not your time to die, there is still work to be done. 

COVID has taken a lot of people from us, to be honest, this year has been a lot from racism to rape to massacres but you are still here. You survived. It didn't get to you, even if it did, it didn't break you, even if it broke you, you can & will be fixed. So I will tell you to hold on because it will soon be over and everything good will come.

This poem by Lucille Clifton has been on my mind and lips lately, it is so timely, read below

Won't you celebrate with me

won't you celebrate with me
what i have shaped into
a kind of life? i had no model.
born in Babylon
both nonwhite and woman
what did i see to be except myself?
i made it up
here on this bridge between
starshine and clay,
my one hand holding tight
my other hand; come celebrate
with me that every day
something has tried to kill me
and has failed.




Have you experienced loss before? How did you handle it? Are you scared of losing a loved one? Tell me.

8 comments

  1. Balm for the soul... Reading it was so calming and soothing.
    'Loss can be an avenue for growth'... I totally agree

    ReplyDelete
  2. "You will learn power and endurance. Your heart is very elastic, it can take more than you know".
    This is an important information everyone should know, even when you think everything isn't working out for you or you lost someone dear to you. Its important to express those emotions, cry, scream, shout but most importantly - always move forward, time really does heal and things will get better,it sounds cliche but its the truth.
    I'm sending everyone nothing but love.
    Great post roseline.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you and yes time does everything!!! We should normalise pouring out emotions

      Delete
  3. Yes I have and I must say that losing a loved one is one of the hardest things in the world to deal with. It is a kind of pain that you physically feel all over your body. Infact, it sucks, it is sad, painful, devastating, lonely, scary, depressing and most of all heartbreaking. The deep sorrow that accompanies the death of a loved one is real. In as much as it is a painful experience, you just have to come to terms with it and eventually find a way to pick up the pieces and move on with your life because life has to go on, regardless. At this point, you accept it and become at peace with what happened.

    Thank you so much Roseline for sharing this with us and also to the world. Your perspective is refreshing and reading this gave me comfort. Indeed, you always know how to find the silver lining. Well done and God bless you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This made me cry!!!! Thank you ❤️..sending you hugs and kisses. I guess what doesn't kill us makes us stronger

      Delete
  4. Everyday something has tried to kill me, and has failed.
    This got me thinking about the many things we survive everyday yet have no clue about. I know we're always told to focus on what is and not what could've been. But if you really think about what could've been you'll realize something glaring and somewhat scary, you may not have been part of the could have been at all. In plainer terms, you could've been an old tale by now. We go out and come in everyday, in fact we just breathe everyday sometimes forgetting that all it takes is a second for that breath to be knocked out from you forever. So whenever we're so overwhelmed with loss that we have lost sight of who we are and what our purpose is, let's remember that we may not have been. But we are. Like you and Sefi Atta said, Everything good will come. Eventuarry

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "We may not have been but we are"
      I should frame this comment because its everything. Thank you for the reminder

      Delete

Say something!

FOLLOW ME ON INSTAGRAM

Roseline mgbodichinma's blog. Theme by BD.