in Issues

Sunday 8 March 2020

WHAT DOES BEING A WOMAN MEAN TO YOU?

What does being a woman mean to you?

International women's day is celebrated on the 8th of March Every year. This year I just sat wondering why we even celebrate Women's day. I have had this "Women" conversation with myself a lot of times but this time I decided to outsource it. So I asked these amazing women what womanhood meant to them and this what they had to say.

Emma

A man's beauty is pretty limited in my opinion.

To me, being a Woman is being several types of beautiful. Everywhere I look, I see women of different colors, shapes, and sizes, with so many different stories. And I think, all these women have one thing in common(besides gender). They're all beautiful in their own way. A man's beauty is pretty limited in my opinion. If it's not abs, height, beards and white teeth, then he doesn't make the cut. Sorry guys.

Being a woman can be pretty annoying, putting it mildly. But when I remember that I can always do something different and still be absolutely pulchritudinous, there's no other place I'd rather be than in the body of a woman.

It's amazing.

ESTHER

you don't know how strong you are until the only option you have is to be strong"

I always tell people that "you don't know how strong you are until the only option you have is to be strong"

To me, womanhood is a journey of self-discovery, learning and unlearning, realizing your purpose and staying strong. During this period, a lot of things that may be beyond your control will happen and strength becomes the only option. I've learned over the years that strength requires a lot of compromise in order not to be frustrated. Being a woman means finding ways to overcome whatever that wants to break you.

As a young adult, I've learned that life happens and when it does, you can't help but be patient enough for things to fall into place.

Life is all about making choices and I always choose happiness. We plan our lives and expect things to work out as planned, forgetting that there's a supreme being that knows more than we do.

For the past three years, (2017 till date) I've realized that God does not make mistakes, once you seek Him first, He will direct you and you begin to understand that "His plans for you are of good and not of evil to give you a future, a hope, and an expected end".

I saw an interesting movie this year titled 'God calling' directed by BB Sasore. I always talk about the movie because I related so well to it. It described the journey of self-discovery which is not always a smooth one. God takes aways little things from us in order to prepare us for greater things.

EUNICE

Being a woman to me means being fragile but agile.

I wish I had more concrete ways to describe what being a woman means to me, because for the most part, being able to identify as the female gender feels like a special gift to me.

Being a woman to me means to be emotional yet strong. Vulnerable in some certain situations and feeling frustrated about it but still going for it regardless.

At some point being a woman means that I am expected to turn out a particular way, live up to a standard that God never even placed and if not, be judged by society and even loved ones.

Being a woman to me means being fragile but agile.

Beautiful and smart.

Vulnerable but capable.

VAL

Who cares about the dress size

It’s all about what’s inside.

Being a woman is a struggle. An everyday challenge

Her worth is measured by trivial things

She is expected to change to fit into the idea of what a woman is supposed to be

Being a woman is being strong

From day one, nature even has bestowed on us trying moments

That just shows our determination and resilience

Women have been breaking barriers

For generations and many more we’ve been changing the narrative

We’ve embraced our uniqueness

Being a woman is something special

I’m proud, happy and grateful to be part of a revolutionary specie, part of the struggle because I do love a good challenge

Being a woman is a GIFT

All women are beautiful

Who cares about the dress size

It’s all about what’s inside.

Nk

Being a woman means u have to be twice as hardworking and as smart as men

Being a woman is a gift and privilege that and I'm happy I'm a woman.

Well, being a woman to me means a nurturer, caregiver, counselor, nurse, spiritual advisor and a lot more. Being a woman means u have to be twice as hardworking and as smart as men and the ability to be strong, independent and resourceful and being an advocate of change in this very society that looks down on the female gender. Basically, a woman is power.

MARY

A woman holds a strong fold of the home, yes the men are the heads of the family and women are the neck but let it be known to all that once the neck is being cut off the head goes down,

Being a woman means there are so many areas and the unfolding of these areas can be tense and hard for me

I see it as a privilege from God he has said, women are the weaker vessels but I've come to understand that I am at advantage. I feel blessed for the fact that I can to the best of strength, handle issues that people think too small for a woman.

Being a woman really means a lot to me and to my family at large, I'm glad to grow up in a family where they believe in woman exercising their full rights and most especially education of a girl child. Not only is it about education and personal life

A woman holds a strong fold of the home, yes the men are the heads of the family and women are the neck but let it be known to all that once the neck is being cut off the head goes down, as a woman I'm glad that one day I will stand to be a stronghold of my own home.

CHUKSI

Society wants to know what you have to offer.

Women literally have to struggle to be seen as relevant and important in this country, there is more to beauty than just being beautiful. You have to have brains

A woman is one of the most beautiful creatures ever made. A woman..." can I compare her beauty to a summers day?"

Fair or Dark, a woman is incredibly unique in all. She is capable of reproducing.
A writer once said " Everything beautiful has its moment and then passes away" but I believe that true beauty lies in the heart and character.

A woman, one of nature's gifts on earth.

Growing into a woman is an amazing adventure and YES I am on that path now. It's funny how time flies, how you grow from being just a child to a teenage girl and then BOOM...YOU ARE A WOMAN.

At this point, everyone expects more from you. I just turned 19. Its been good, but I must confess, I have been on a series of anxiety attacks like I wonder what the future holds. At this age for most teenagers emotionally, they are either on a love ride, either hooked up, already found their "supposed" rip or just there. Brother and sisters am just there.

Sometimes I wonder, will I ever be enough for a person.

Other reasons make me anxious. I

am a law student, how's that going for me? Law is competitive after graduation from law school. All these thoughts come into my head as I grow. But it is still amazing how we stand strong after all.

Society wants to know what you have to offer.

Women literally have to struggle to be seen as relevant and important in this country, there is more to beauty than just being beautiful. You have to have brains. It's amusing how people underestimate me until they see my talent and ability. I realized that you can't have rainbow without a little rain so.

Just the other day, I was at the school bank with my friend. we actually came to pay for something. Even the sun would bear me witness that we came before one guy with the blue-washed jeans.
The banker literally told us to wait behind...in his words" Don't you know he is a boy, you law girls like oppressing everyone you see in this faculty, he should come before you girls, now shift".

My god, what is this country turning into, but then I remember that there is no cure for the foolish. I didn't want to make a scene, time was on our side that day, so I let him be.

As a woman, self-worth is very important and it should be earned. No matter even in my next life. I would still choose to be a woman.

I AM BEAUTIFUL, I AM STRONG, I AM ENOUGH, I AM A WOMAN.

CHIOMA

You are not one who sees the expression of Love as a sign of weakness. You are also one who knows how to draw the boundary when your love is being taken for granted.

Being a Woman is one of the most amazing experiences I've ever lived through and still living. I believe Women are ethereal beauties in the form of beings.

•To me, being a woman means STRENGTH.

You are aware of the obstacles in your way and the misogynistic expectations people have for you. Still, you decide on what you want while working hard to achieve your goals.

•Being a woman means CONFIDENCE.

To me, a woman is one who has a beautiful mixture of "Confidence and Humility" You don't compare yourself to others, you follow your own path, you are unapologetic about who you are, in the process being humble without getting arrogant or proud.

•Being a Woman means SELF IDENTITY.

I believe being a woman is being aware of who you are. For instance, I being aware of who "Chioma Glory Nwabuzor" is. You are aware of your Strength, weakness, your fears and constantly making progress to overcome them. You knowing your Values and tour Worth (extremely important), not afraid to reveal your feelings and Speak up when you feel you ought to, all without fear or favor. Constantly on a Journey of learning, unlearning new things about yourself, not letting situations, circumstances and people define you. Basically knowing the beautiful and unique being that you are.

•Being a Woman means INDEPENDENCE.

Independence doesn't mean not asking for help. An Independent person is one who has learned to live on their own and support themselves.

I believe Self-support and Self hype is the greatest 'cus honey, YOU as a woman are your greatest Cheerleader. An Independent woman is strong emotionally, mentally, physically and not one who sees herself as a fragile helpless creature who doesn't have the potentials to achieve much. To me, being a woman means being Independent and believing in yourself.

•Being a Woman means having SELF-RESPECT.

You have that deep admiration for yourself, your abilities, your qualities are what I feel being a woman is.

Respecting yourself to stand up for your beliefs,

Respecting yourself enough to know that the level of suffering or pain you can withstand is not the true test of womanhood,

Respecting yourself to leave toxic people and environments that no longer serve you in a positive way,

Respecting yourself to fight for your dreams and goals,

Respecting yourself to Love YOU the way you deserve.

•Being a woman means being an embodiment of LOVE.

A woman is one who is Loving. It's more like her nature to take care of others while it all flows naturally. You are not one who sees the expression of Love as a sign of weakness. You are also one who knows how to draw the boundary when your love is being taken for granted.

•Being a Woman means having FAITH.

Lastly, I believe you being a Woman means having a Faith, staying grounded in it and also true to it. Personally, this Faith equals Godliness, i.e having the attributes of Christ that would make the title of "Christian" which I claim to be real.

This is what being a woman means to me

I think the conclusion of the matter is that being a woman is not one thing and it might not mean you it means to or them. So please tell me in the comments what does being a woman mean to you. Whether you are a male or female.

Friday 28 February 2020

HAIR GOALS + WHY I CUT MY HAIR

I have had the big chop three times in total for different reasons.

The first time; I was in primary four and I had long straight hair. I had just written the common entrance examination to get into secondary school and I was so excited. I passed the exam and I was to go to a boarding school where everybody shaved their hair.

I was so elated that I couldn't wait to go to school and tell my classmates that I was leaving them. The Joy of having to skip primary 5( a whole year) was overwhelming. I didn’t even wait for the actual school preparations to begin before I decided to cut my hair.

My mum agreed because according to her since I was born I had never cut my hair.

I was now a baldie ready to go to high school. But guess what people. When It was time to go for the interview and return to school. My parents said I was too young, that they just wanted to test my intelligence.

Ladies and gentlemen, I didn’t know how to react to the fact that I cut my hair for no reason. I took my low cut to school and I had to handle the numerous questions and occasional stares from classmates and teachers in my school.

The second time: In all honesty, I just woke up and cut the hair. I have good hair genes and my hair was perfectly fine. I just sort Of felt It wasn’t long enough and It was relaxed( not that relaxing your hair is bad). I just saw some people on their natural hair and I loved it. I didn’t know that my hair could be that beautiful growing out on its own. I wanted to try it.

The third time: it is safe to say here that I was nearly flogged for cutting my hair. My natural hair was 2 years old.

I can't believe I shaved off this bulb of joy

It was soft, afro, long, talk about hair goals. There was not a day I wore the fro out that someone did not comment on it. I didn’t use any product asides shea butter, but it was hard for people to believe. Some months before I cut it. I went to loosen my faux locs and the hairstylist cut my hair so much so that It became unequal. I cried. I am not good at showing Emotions but man! E pain me.

But because I serve a living God it literally took about 2-3 months for it to grow back and sort of equalize.
My Hair was amazing again and I didn't use any product.
I couldn’t even believe the growth but I still went ahead and cut it. That morning I washed my hair measured the length, then I went to the barber's shop with my brother to cut it.

Months before that I had been talking frequently about shaving my hair and my people thought it was mere banter. The barber asked me If I was cutting all that hair because I didn’t have money to make it(lol). Another said I’d be ugly If I cut it( but guess who is a baby girl and slaying the cut)

Some girls at the shop were ready to take the strands of my hair and attach it to their own If they could.
It just made me realize how much value people attach to hair.

My friends found out I cut my hair, see some of their hilarious responses.
I'd share the ones I can find.

Now on a serious note, how much does your hair mean to you? do you think it defines you? Do you think your hair Is the reason for your beauty?
Do you think hair Is just hair?

I never gave deep thought to hair, growing or cutting It has always been an Impulsive decision for me. It depends on my feeling or mood, no due deliberation needed at all. I just do it.
I honestly believe that I am beautiful regardless and my beauty doesn’t lie under hair or suffice when I have hair.

My opinion about hair is varied though.

First, I believe hair is just hair so you can decide to cut it or leave it. It does not make you less of a girl or boy. I also understand that hair can be very deep for some people. Hair symbolizes so much to many. It can be a way to express our creativity and culture

E.g. I have heard that some women have been called unkempt for not having straight hair, their natural hair was described as nappy and unsuitable for the workplace. So women were forced to put chemicals on their hair just to meet up to a certain standard.

In some cultures, a woman must always have hair and when she cuts it, it is a sign of despair, mourning or a sign that she has been ostracised. So when I say hair is just hair, what I really mean is that you are so fearfully, wonderfully and beautifully made for something as replaceable as hair to define you.

It's just hair and it can grow back. Whether you texturize, relax or leave your hair in its natural form, It’s okay. Just make sure you are doing it for the right motive.

Don’t relax your hair because of societal pressure or influence from the western world. Don’t be team natural because it’s becoming a trend and hashtag. Do your hair how you want to do your hair because you like it and you feel good with it. I personally love my hair natural and may never relax it because I think I look cuter in my afro.

I know people who might never carry natural hair because to them it’s difficult to maintain. Let’s be honest natural hair sometimes is not the easiest to maintain especially If you have strong hair. So just do you!

Here is a fact about hair that blew my mind!

Did you know that some hairstyles we're essential for the survival of black people? Our ancestors placed rice seeds and gold between two sections of hair. They did that so that if they are captured and forced across the voyage on the Atlantic they will at least have a small amount of food.

Please tell me in the comments. how much does hair mean to you? Would you ever consider cutting your hair? How do you like your hair natural or permed? You can tell me any other thing you know about hair and what symbolizes. I will love to read from you.

Friday 7 February 2020

I DON'T LIKE EVE

I enjoy reading stories of great women in the bible because it inspires me and makes me realize that Jesus Himself wants every woman to succeed. The marginalization of women is never God's plan.

I love the leadership of Deborah, the courage and determination in Esther, the discerning spirit of Abigail, the prayer power of Hannah, the openness of Martha to receive counsel and the virtue of Mary among others. But you see Eve I don’t like her.

"She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it" (Genesis 3:6).

I spent time trying to understand why somebody chose an Apple over God's instruction like it wasn’t even chocolate, Ice cream or pineapple. It was Apple! Apple that is not even that sweet. Did she not find it suspicious that a serpent came to talk to her about a tree?

Her disobedience is believed to have been the cause of the pain women have to go through today. The labor pains, the cramps, the desire and competition over men, etc.

I have always imagined interviewing Eve, I would ask her questions like,

Did the Apple then taste like cold Ice cream? or were the other fruits in the garden of Eden sour?
What do you think? Because I thought Eve should have known better than to eat the fruit.

All this is just my anger mixed with self-righteousness, because it's funny how much we blame Eve, (yes me and you) that we easily forget that women like Jezebel and Delilah existed. Jezebel that convinced her husband to kill an innocent man, promoted sexual immorality and purported to kill the prophets of God. Or is it Delilah that Samson loved yet she betrayed him for money.

There were other women who messed up in the bible but all of us want to chew Eve that ate an apple. I mean I get why it’s like that but let me open your eyes a little.

Many of us are like Eve, heck we don’t even have the right to Judge her. Now ask yourself how many times you knew the right thing to do yet you did otherwise. There are times when we knew better but didn’t do better. At this point let she who is without sin be the first to exit this blog post.

We can blame Eve all we want but let us not forget she was the first woman on earth, first to be a wife, first to be a mother and a woman with all the responsibilities that came with it. How many times have you started something for the first time and suddenly became a master at it?

Eve was a woman with many firsts and she handled a lot. From leaving paradise to knowing one of her sons killed the other. Imagine her pain. We should be showing empathy. Not to justify her sin but think about it.

She don chop am be say she don chop am. she cannot vomit the apple!

Some people have argued that she had God and Adam to guide her so there was no excuse. That's true but some of us have God, our pastors, our parents; friends, etc and we still mess up. Most of us are as easily influenced as Eve. Instead of blaming Eve we must learn from her mistakes, understand, and even empathize.

Fun fact: Eve was very influential. All she had to do was give the fruit to Adam, biblically Adam was the one who heard from God about this fruit issue so he basically chose his wife's voice over God's voice. ( we will talk about the fight of voices in another blog post).

Abram followed Sarai’s advice instead of trusting God’s timing. Jacob deceived his own father because of the words of his mother, Rebekah.

King Ahasuerus listened to Esther and the Jews were spared. Deborah accompanied Barak and a battle was won.

The bottom line is women are the most influential creatures on earth quote me anywhere.

I didn’t like Eve because I could not see past her sin and that's just Toxic. God forgave Eve and I am sure He loved her. It was just important for her to take responsibility for her actions. Eve's experience is enough tutelage for women all over the world.

As a matter of fact, I think Eve was a phenomenal woman. Do you agree?

I see Eve in myself sometimes, and you don’t need to look too much to see her in yourself too. It's the little things like when we see something nice and we lose our home training just to get it. Or the times when we choose our desires over God's voice. It’s a lot to handle.

All I am here to say is don’t be like Eve. But at the same time don’t be a hater. It is very easy to criticize something you didn’t participate in. Just be more constructive with your criticism.

We bash Eve for wanting to be “more like God” when she ate the fruit. I thought God's plan is for us to be like Him! I realized that Eve’s sin was not wanting to be like God but wanting to do so without first trying to seek God and have a relationship with Him. He would have given her wisdom and more, had she followed simple instruction.

I know this post is all over the place but it’s just how it is in my head.

This is sonia not Eve and she is a darling, you can follow her on Instagram @itsoni_ee

Here are a few lessons to learn from Eve

Be thankful and focus on the things you have: you know how Eve left the many trees just to chase that one tree that caused the fall of man, that’s exactly how some of us focus on the things we don’t have that others do e.g. the dream house, the perfect body, etc and this breeds jealousy.

Don’t doubt the voice of God if he says don’t do it then don’t do it. As a woman you wield so much power and influence, please don’t use it like Eve.

You are not in control: The fundamental problem for Eve was that she wanted to determine what was right and what was wrong, instead of obeying her Creator.

To be continued.

Wednesday 11 December 2019

JOIN HUB INSPIRATIONAL IN GIVING BACK TO THE SOCIETY THROUGH THEIR "PROJECT CHARITY AND IMPACT (PCI)"

No human being was made for the streets yet there are millions of people making a living from the streets. There are homeless people, feeding from hand to mouth and brutally exposed to harsh weather conditions because there is lack of food and shelter.
We must understand that it was never a choice for them to make because sane human beings don’t choose to be in disadvantaged positions, particularly the innocent children roaming the streets, negotiating starvation with safety.

“There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.”
― John Holmes

It is true that poverty has dug deep into the textiles of our society today but what is untrue is the saying that we cannot do anything to mitigate, eradicate and change the situation.

charity is willingly given from the heart- Rush Limbaugh

It was mother Theresa who said ‘’if you can't feed a thousand people, then feed just one’’ this is to say that nobody is too small to make an impact and it doesn’t matter where we are or the little we think we have, there is always room to be kind and charitable.
This is why Miss Ebere Chinelo Ezeigwe and her team have created the PCI(project charity and impact) to reach youths, adults and children in order to reduce hunger, poverty and ensure Good health and wellbeing. The beautiful thing about this project is that it focuses not only on nourishing young bodies but also minds. To grow their intellect and equip them for the modern society.

Project Charity and Impact (PCI) is a CSR (Corporate Social Responsibility) initiative of Hub Inspirational. It is aimed at giving back to the society, reaching out to the less privileged, igniting hope and love, and making ourselves better through volunteering, giving and other positive vibes of sacrifices.

This project is captured in goal 1,2, and 3 of the UN 2020 SDGs. The target includes any class of less privileged. The outreach could include intellectual programs in the future. PCI kicked off her maiden edition on the 14th of January 2018, at Abakaliki Ebonyi State. The project has been pushing and improving since then
This 3rd edition looks forward to reaching out to the rural areas of Akwa Ibom State with food items and free medical services on 26th January 2019

Photo from Bennett Tobias via unsplash

In Miss Ebere's words "I want to give back to the society through charity works (the drive is unstoppable), free trainings(when we must have gotten sponsors), so we can build enough impact in the world.
My target is mainly the growing generations (children and mostly youths) because they are the future we see, but we sometimes remember the aged and the less privileged generally."

From Bill wegener via unsplash

This is a worthy cause to take on because there are lots of lives you can change by joining this project. There are thousands of talents wasting because they lack opportunity and chance. Be a part of something that gives people life, hope, purpose, comfort, reason and innovation. I volunteer and you should too.

To volunteer or sponsor and for further inquires contact them via the cell numbers 08169693842 & 08063825792.

Thursday 14 November 2019

Heal: You can't get even with everybody!

How to heal

I ask because I have stalled on this subject and I found that it is deeper than cuts, burns, open wounds etc. I am talking about the kind of healing that comes from within, the kind that gives you this freedom and weightlessness that is almost orgasmic, now I don’t mean sexual healing( it is part of it, I am just not the go-to person for that subject) so I am speaking of spiritual healing, one that comes from the within, from the heart, it’s a mental thing.

It is impossible to talk about this kind of healing without forgiveness, see grudge is like an open wound that exists internally, you continue to bleed inside till your blood becomes stale and your body turns grey maybe not physically but something dies inside of you when you don’t lay aside every weight. I watched a video online and I heard a woman rant about how she had been duped by her husband and how she suffered for years due to the loss, what struck me was her response when she was asked If she had forgiven him, she looked the camera in the eye and she said ‘’I will never forgive him till I die."

I get that it is hard but we have so much normalised resentment to the point that we feel it comes from a place of power but the truth is forgiveness is really an attribute of the strong and there is nothing powerful about holding pain captive. Funny thing is you are the one carrying the burden, for all you know the offender has moved on and you are still here sulking.

What does it mean to heal?

To heal means to become sound and healthy again and it is not even an easy task, everybody has something they need to heal from and sadly it may be little things, your friend spoke to you rudely and forgot to apologise, you feel your parents are not treating you right, you just got out of a bad relationship etc, truth is some of us are out here yelling I am over it! It’s not that deep! I have moved on! but we both know that’s a lie that studied abroad.

Sometimes we claim to have forgiven yet we secretly nurse the idea for an opportunity to show ourselves. If given a chance we would retaliate as per let me give them a taste of their own medicine. On a lighter note I remember fondly a time when my friend finished a drink we were to meant to share (Capri Sonne(strawberry flavour) to be precise.

I was looking forward to drinking this chilled yumminess because who doesn't like Capri Sonne.

She was sipping this thing with so much energy and I just thought no she can't possibly finish it , she might just be ravenously drinking her share but behold and lo I heard the "krr krr" sound as she squeezed the hell out of this juice. I was really thirsty.
I remember just feeling ah! my friend, I love you but I must do my own. That scenario may just sound fleeting or trivial and Indeed it was. we genuinely laughed about it but this is how we often react to bigger situations.

we say I forgive you but I pray I get the chance to retaliate so that we can be even but if you get even with everybody you can't beat the odds. It is just vain and self deceitful to hold back while claiming to have let go. People will intentionally hurt you and you must let go because hurt people hurt other people and it raises a generation of broken people.

So dear Capri Sonne snatching friend if I ever finish a drink meant for both of us do know that it will not be intentional and l am not retaliating or hurting, it will truly be a friendly gesture with a sprinkle of tough love Haq Haq Haq.

Healing does not mean a return to the original state, it is simply accepting to move on despite the limitation. There are physically challenged people who have become great today but they are still physically challenged then there are physically challenged people who continue complaining and falling in and out of depression-like it is some treasure hunt, yes people are different but sometimes it is the choice that makes the difference.

Where does healing start

Healing starts from the mind and if you can’t close that portal of anger or revenge in your mind there will be no open doors for you in reality. Healing is different from curing, you can cure without healing but you cannot heal without curing. Curing is removing evidence of the disease, the hurt, pain, etc but healing is to be made whole. Biblical example; when Jesus took leprosy from the 10 lepers, they left and only one came back to give thanks and Jesus said ‘’ Rise and go thy faith has made thee whole” why did he say that if healing and curing were the same things? Basically, 9 were cured and only one was healed. When you are healed everything about you is intact, preserved and prosperous. This is not a sermon so go read Luke chapter 17:11-19

Jesus asked, “Weren’t all ten healed? Where are the other nine? Didn’t anyone else return and give praise to God except this outsider?”

Then Jesus said to him, “Get up and go. Your faith has healed you.”

Healing is deeper and must always come from within. So forgive yourself, heal! yes you are getting old and you want to be young and getting it, yes you may not be doing well in school, yes you don’t have money, life will always happen but heal so that you can move on. What we do most times is temporary we just cure the situation and it only lasts a while that’s why people keep getting sad and depressed over one particular issue.

I don’t know if I was coherent enough but learn now that nobody owns your happiness, learn to be thankful and forgive and forget, yes you can forget! Forgetting doesn’t mean your brain will go blank it just means you are mature enough to open up a new chapter without flipping through the previous one. Give that person another chance in your heart.

Give yourself another chance and if you fail today, heal and start again, now take two minutes to think of that friend or family member or anybody you vowed not to forgive or you partly forgave, you may not call them or anything just take a deep breath and say ‘’I let go’’ free them and free yourself! Take back your peace of mind.

Read Titilope Sonuga's How to heal a wound I think it's amazing

Friday 3 May 2019

POOR CUSTOMER SERVICE + A CHICKEN PARODY

Storytime

It was my darling's birthday( the fair one on black ) and I missed it because I traveled. I got back and I thought let's go out and hang. let's just chill.

After many hours of indecisiveness, we carried ourselves to this eatery. Now, this was not our first time there. I have never been impressed by that place but this time it was worse! The customer service was zero.

In this eatery, there is this chicken package that comes with two plates of rice, a bucket chicken, chips or Moi Moi then a large bottle of any soft drink. We wanted to order that but I rose my big hand and said no. I want us to get a cheaper package, in this economy you want us to spend #5400 on rice and coke, who does that.

There was another package that went for #1300, mind you all these things were on display so we could see the food and the prices slated on them, brethren one dark clueless boy came to attend to us. He told us the #1300 package came with chips, rice, and chicken, then a drink. We asked up to four times to be sure because the menu on display was a bit misleading. He confirmed and sharp girls like us ordered 3 plates. So #3900 as opposed to #5400.

Uncle started serving it after like 20 minutes of wasting our time. We were tired of standing at the counter at this point. We were famished and ready to eat, next thing he removed the chips from the plate and said that the Menu was changed and it was just rice and 4 crumbs of chicken that went for #1300.

One of the waitresses saw us complaining so she asked who was serving us and he said to me! me! As per I got this, serving is my calling, I have masters in food menu cramming and arrangement. He didn't want her interfering. so she left him to it. I insisted I wasn't going to pay for nonsense. I can't order one thing and you give me another thing and expect me to pay, but as a child of God patience is key so I was acting cool about it.

My level headed friend said we should manage the food, after all, it's still rice and chicken, the guy was already sweating because he said they had recorded the order and we had to pay or else he would bear the cost. I asked if we could substitute the rice for 700 Naira Ice cream and 350 Naira meat Pie and he refused, said that it was against their policy.

I was there thinking to myself, so being a confused waiter is part of your policy?
Customer service in some restaurants are just poor, how will the waiter be unfamiliar with the menu? So I can't change my order? How is your incapability my concern?

We hoped that considering the size of the food, it would at least be delicious ha! We thought wrong. I wanted to go and leave him there to face the wrath. But again, my friend said let's manage. We had not tasted anything yet. What's the worst that can happen.

He served us the rice, people of God when he put it. I was looking for the dog they were serving because it cannot be me they just gave one spoon of jollof rice for #1300.

I was at 100 degrees boiling point but I was calm, time to put chicken and he put 4 pieces of one thing that looked like dried cashew nuts, at this point you would think we walked out ...if I hear!

Let me give you a clear picture

Rice: Almost tasteless but I thought, hey it's Jollof and we can manage and chew chaff, there is chicken inside too, so what's the worst that can happen.

Chicken: Oh lord!!!!! These people roasted leftover chicken and decorated it with salt, no you don't understand, the amount of salt in that thing will peel your tongue, there was no flesh. We basically paid for bone and salt. Did I tell them I was lacking Iodine and calcium?

Suffice all to say, It was the most distasteful eatery experience of my life.

Imagine preparing to take your friend out and this happens to you, on someone's birthday bikonu! I expected better value for my money, the only thing that made sense was Fanta because they didn't produce it. If not, I am pretty sure the Fanta would have been salty too.

There was no toothpick or floss provided, the tray was broken, the waiter was sweating under the air-conditioner, how irritating!

L-Eunice M-Olivia R- Me

Someone said I should give them the benefit of doubt, that maybe something went wrong on that day. so I will not call them out. And I still go there occasionally to get other things e.g bread. I won't be risking any other thing, till I am convinced there is a change.

I wrapped the so-called chicken in my bag, I plan to add it to the Egusi soup I am cooking because I can't just leave my money there and of course we would not put salt in the soup because the one they used in frying or baking the bone they served us will be enough for two soups.

Anyway, lesson learned.

@oliviaeze03 shot it!

Here are 10 signs you are in a bad restaurant. Let me quickly add, go with your guts and leave the restaurant when your order goes wrong, don't pity anybody or try to patronize to the point that you poison yourself. Please be guided!

Ehe..drum roll please I have talented friends

Eunice, the birthday girl is an amazing artist her Instagram handle is _ukamaka_ go and see the raw expression of talent

Olivia, the one that said I should sit down and chew salt is an amazing photographer that knows too much book, she took most of the pictures her Instagram handle is Veeyaas_lens go and say hi to them, say you are from the blog And please tell her the awesome photos on her phone is for the world to see and not for the decoration of her gallery!

If you have had any restaurant, eatery or

poor customer service wahala (issue)

I want to hear from you in the comments or email me I'd love to engage. Bye!

Sunday 31 March 2019

Balancing is different from multitasking + why do you want to hurry up and matter ?

It is the end of march already somebody tell 2019 to slow down nobody is chasing it, or is it just me? Do you ever feel like Time is running out like there are things you need to achieve at a certain, age, time or period? Is balancing hard for you?
It is not a rhetorical question don’t worry the answer is yes!
Everybody wants to blow and it is totally fine, but I will ask you in Salem king's voice why do you want to hurry up and matter?

Nobody wants to sit down on the bench again and take the pain of the process. I genuinely like the hustling spirit, I want all my guys to be ballers. But what can we really do to achieve this? I don't have all the answers But I can tell you for free balancing is key. It is really early as I type this post, I just woke up wondering about a lot of things.

I have this blog that I want to be serious about. I have my Instagram Page that I sincerely want to build into a community. I strongly recommend you read purpose-driven life by Rick warren. Here is a link to the audio version of purpose-driven life it will really help to set your mind straight.

Balance is the even distribution of weight, balance is stability. Balancing is a lifestyle, a conscious effort that has grown into commitment. E.g when you play away the semester and you have few days to exams so you read the courses simultaneously while cooking, washing, doing assignments, etc, in this case, did you multitask? Yes, do you live a balanced life? No!
Did I just make sense?

Sonia on the left, Pamela on the right.

In case I haven’t said it here.

I am a law student(give me a chilled glass of anything cold pls) I always knew I was going to do this but nothing prepared me for the stress and brain drain. I thought it was simply an extension of my secondary school government classes. Oh ! I should have done some other course...lol Now I am not saying other courses are easy but you know when you are in a stressful situation, It is normal to think the grass is greener on the other side, till you go there and see reality.

I am sure you have asked yourself questions about your current level in life and its okay. For me, I just keep wondering like Law is not beans. I have to go to my classes because this degree will not get itself. I have writing contests to enter, novels to read, And most of all I have God.

Till today I am still lost on how I am supposed to juxtapose all these things. I follow The amazing Nigerian actress Jemima Osunde and I am sincerely wondering how someone can be great and consistent with a successful acting career and still scale through medical school in rainbow colours, It is a wow!

Live a life that is well balanced; don't do things in excess - Daniel

One day I got back from school and I asked myself what on earth am/I here for. Like God are you sure music is not my calling (but after I soloed amazing by Nathaniel Bassey in secondary school I perished that idea) can one good samaritan just credit my account with millions? So I'd just stop going to school and start balling lol.

Balancing is not multitasking, It is very similar but in some ways different.

Balance is a feeling derived from being whole and complete; it's a sense of harmony. It is essential to maintaining quality in life and work. Joshua Osenga, 12 years a Cubicle Slave

I don’t know what the primary purpose of this post is, but I know someone needs to hear It. One essential thing I know I lack is Balance, yes I will be truthful, getting everything done at the set time is too good to be true for me.

The more often you decline invitations to spend time with friends or family because you are too busy with either work or other activities, the more you should realize that your life is not in balance." Byron Pulsifer, Balanced Life

It is putting something In a steady position so It does not fall, multitasking is simply doing more than one task at a time, see you can multitask and still have Unbalanced areas of your life, but balance keeps you on track. It keeps you in control and at the helm of affairs, with it comes multitasking.

Multitasking can happen anytime. you don't really need to be disciplined or anything.

Before you have the panic and self-doubt attack I had this morning ask yourself this

why am I here?
why am I studying this?
why am I eating this?
why did I start this?
why am I writing this?
Why am I still reading this blog post?

I am not going all motivational speakerish on you. I just wish you would genuinely ask yourself these questions, think long and hard it will help your life.

For instance, when I see Ice cream, bread or Juice before I eat It, I ask myself why am I eating this, am I hungry? didn’t I just eat? shebi Man does not leave by bread alone. Why? Because I have a weight loss goal. More than half of the time I eat It anyway, but baby steps we are getting there. I want a consistent healthy eating lifestyle, something I can work with, a pattern. That's what balance is all about.

What the heck is your why, when you know your why, it will drive you. Learn to do things before it is due, sometimes this "as and when due" can get you choked up on stuff.

All the fine pictures you see Pamela took them for me with Sonia’s iPhone 6s, that's what I call teamwork and support or is it just love.

Pamela is a sweet girl and she has a passion for photography, I love how she researches and Is willing to learn new things plus she is tongue lashing and holy ghost filled. It is not because she is my friend I am just naturally attracted to women with vision.

I didn’t allow her to edit the pictures because I wanted it as it was taken, but if she did it would have been top-notch Pah_mcy is her Instagram handle. Say hi tell her you are from the blog.

Sonia, she wanted to be an astronaut, a doctor( because she is good with blood ) a musician, then study international relations and diplomacy because you know this country is beginning to piss everybody off.

But you know the lord took her to the law department because his ways are not our ways.

Sonia is a writer, a sweet girl, a sensible slay queen and a child of God with the kind of smile I am in love with. She is the owner of the iPhone, she just had to leave the android department. Itsoni_ee is her Instagram handle, go and say hi, tell her you are from the blog.

This post was all over the place but I hope you learn a thing or two? We are all trying to figure things out, share your findings with me.

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