Wednesday, 18 March 2020

MAMMON

 
Mammon
Image by pawel czerwinski via unsplash

It was not weird for you to have an affair with your fathers' age mate, as a matter of fact to you it was the same thing, the only difference was that one was purely biological and platonic while the other was just erotic and beneficial.
  He sipped the freshly squeezed orange juice like the straw was a pole and his tongue was a stripper.
It always fascinated you how modern and energetic he was at that old age. He was nothing like your father, the legendary Pa James, old and grey with a mustache as thick as those of the colonial masters you saw in his old history books.

Your father drank from a square stainless steel mug and he gulped whatever liquid it contained with no care for class or sexiness. it was easy to see why Chief became the ideal father figure for you. After all who wanted to have a man who wrapped faded tie and die material around his crotch and sat on a cane chair all day long as a father.

The smell of cigarettes, alcohol and cheap perfume pervaded the space with the harsh stench of weed wafting through your nostrils. But what more could be expected of a club packed with Jobless boys and cheating men?
It was the only club in the neighborhood and certainly not a safe place for a girl considering the number of rape cases vaguely reported on daily times. You knew your mother would turn in her grave if she saw you, scantily dressed with slits as high as the slave walls in Badagry. but the disco light flattered your skimpy neon dress and you liked the strut you achieved with your toned thighs. Your mother could summersault in her grave if she wanted to.

Women as modest as she never remained the only wives of their husbands and the younger women that stole the attention of their husbands were brainwashed daughters of the high chiefs or whitewashed African waitresses who were really just glorified prostitutes.

The foreigners found them attractive thus they became the hottest assets in the market for local men to price and pride in.
You scanned the room for chief but he was not at his regular VVIP lounge. He sat loosely at one corner with four men and a swamp of desperate girls, you knew how to swerve his attention so you walked over to the table and twerked to the beat of ‘Lady by Fela Kuti’ as his caressed your butt cheeks in ecstasy.
The drunken men cheered at your sensual talent and they hailed chief for the good catch while bickering about making money from the new government.

’ you know we are not truly independent’’ The Oldest man in the group yelled, a dry-looking retired university professor who in your opinion had been deeply submerged in theories that practical things became nothing short of fiction to him.

His glasses slipped down the bridge of his flat nose and it intrigued you how this man presumably in his late sixties found solace in seven bottles of whiskey but you ignored him this time. The men laughed at him and cheered prof! Prof!

‘’why didn’t you leave with the colonial masters, so that you can go there and continue to serve tables and kiss feet’’ another retorted.

‘’The left us brainwashed, now we are going to chase after what we have chased away ‘’ Prof yelled caressing the long weaves on a girl's hair; he made jokes about not wanting to spending the night with her because the real owner of the hair might come to interrupt their copulation.

You were uninterested in the conversation and Chief perceived it. He knew you hated their company but according to him, a woman as intelligent as you were deserved a sit at every table.  He held your waist to a stop as he whispered for you to continue in his motel room. You stood up to leave and the old men looked at you hungrily in the same way your father looks at overripe paw before he plucked them from the tree.

You swayed your hips to announce your departure when the prof hit your buttocks. Just  as the white men did with their canes when trying to get natives to twist their tongues into syllables their ancestors were not even familiar with. The audacity of man!
You slapped him to the surprise of everyone at the club. He remorselessly gave you a harsh snare and bantered loudly about the calamitous arrogance colonialism has brought to African women.

The men yelled distinctly, calling you prostitute and all sorts as you walked away with chief but prostitution was far from your job description. You only slept with the men you dated and when you met Chief he became the only one.

    It first started from the famous Campus in Lagos, you had just one year to finish your degree in literature and your father could not afford to pay the tuition after his cocoa plantation was burnt down mysteriously.

As if wearing cheap clothes and being broke all the time due to the meager amount given to you per semester in a parcel from the village as pocket money was not enough suffering, he wanted you to become a dropout and marry Emekus, a trader in Onitsha with a very thick Igbo accent that made your name sound like a vocal expression of peppery sewage and slime as opposed to Cynthia.

 According to your father, he was well to do and he would open a provision store for you in the market.
 Chief saved you from this misery. He saw you dancing at the club; you had to be wild about your last days so you effortlessly landed on his bed that night. He must have really enjoyed himself because he called you every weekend from that day and he even helped you secure a Visa at the embassy so that you could keep him company in Europe when he was bored of his wife and three children.

You spent fewer holidays in the village with your father and when he asked about your refusal to come home you told him you had to stay back in school because of the bulk of your course work.

The girls in your hostel thought chief was your father because it was very uncommon to see a man possibly in his early seventies with a girl who was barely twenty. but he was better than the small campus boys who wore long chains and tried to sound like 50 cents just to impress girls.

It was not weird for you to have an affair with your fathers' age mate, as a matter of fact to you it was the same thing, the only difference was that one was purely biological and platonic while the other was just erotic and beneficial.

Your roommate lotanna was a bright student of international relations and she was not very pleased with your open lifestyle. She was also very religious because you had lost count of the times her songs of exaltation startled you out of your hangover. It sounded like your fathers' incantation when he poured dry gin on the soil of the dilapidated shrine beside the yam barn in the village.

 The same one your mother destroyed many times because she said the white priest taught them about a man who will come to save the world from sin.

Father knew some scriptures too but he was not obsessed like your mother or at least he was taught during the adult education classes he had to take to become a cashier at the post office. The only scripture that escaped his lips when mother called out his supposed heathen behavior was ‘ give to Ceasar what is caesars and to the gods what belongs to them.’

God! God! Not gods’ mother would yell. She said you were worst than your father at least he believed in something but you didn’t.  She told you it was better to be swayed by every wind of doctrine than to be out of tune with the entire belief systems of the world.

When she caught you with Jon the elementary school teacher just before you gained admission, she held your hands and gave you a sermon about being unchaste and how it demeans a woman’s pride and reduced her bride price. You barely listened.

She asked you to stop before you get possessed with the spirit of polyandry like your grandmother. She looked at you like a rascal in need of dire redemption just the way Lotanna looked at you when you told her you were traveling with chief so that he could see his family and you would keep him company. She disapproved but she said she would ask God to forgive you, you liked her because unlike the rest of the religious people you met on campus she was the most spiritual and the less judgmental.

She would look at you with a forced smile and say
‘’you know for someone who is not studying international relations you travel quite much’’ and then she would hug you goodbye.

Chief wanted one last night at the club with his friends, the ones he knew you despised so much. You were not really the wild girl chief was smitten by, the club was just a  place where people converged to blow off steam, a crowded gathering of different personalities with diverse motives.

You told Chief his professor friend was a rapist
that was not professor Ike’s intention’’ he yelled with mild irritation  removing your hand from his boxers
‘’All I am saying is that it is hard to decipher the true intentions of a man who touches a woman’s body without her consent’’ you said apologetically.

You left for the club with chief, at the round table they were fewer men than there ever was. They said the professor got a job offer from Cambridge and another man who you never paid much attention to was found dead in his motel room.

It was obvious he died on top of a woman. The local security went looking for her.  You wondered if it would ever happen to you and chief, for once you considered his family.

From the photograph in his wallet you saw the innocence in his last daughters' eyes, the fierceness in the first, and then his son; a fine young gentleman in his early twenties. Didn’t they know their father was a womanizer? Did his wife just trust him or did she just buy the idea that all men are polygamous and shoved it aside? Was it because he was rich so she chose to ignore his infidelity because surely she would have suspected the late-night calls chief received from various women even when he was with you.

The flight was going to leave in about eight hours you didn’t want to leave, this was not the first time you flew across borders with chief but this time it didn’t feel right or maybe it was because Lotanna said that God showed her in a vision that the plane crashed.

You were not one to believe the visions and dreams of religious fanatics but indecisiveness left you open to any consideration that could solidify your uneasiness. Chief hates to waste his money and he beat you once when he paid for two nights in a guest house and you didn’t show up because you were not in the mood. He never beat you after that day but you saw the tendencies in his eyes.

You did not travel and the plane did not crash as prophesied. You waited for the chief to come back from his trip so that you can apologize. It was very easy to apologize chief was easy to please, just five minutes of mild foreplay you could get him panting like a bulldog and singing your praise as an indication to stop. He was just a very perverted old man if not, wisdom entailed that he be fully retired and stayed home with his family.

You hear his first daughter is a lawyer that walks for shell and you wondered if there was a provision in the constitution that tried adults for infidelity and fornication. He didn’t show up that night nor the night after neither did he call. You used your savings to rent an apartment off-campus because chief said he was tired of motels and brothels.

You changed your wardrobe too because a free graduate like you had to keep away from campus trends especially those jeans that fitted tightly at the waistline became extremely triangular and lose at the end. The last time you made such extravagant expense chief covered for it. Had he not suggested refunding you after his trip you wouldn’t have bothered with house hunting let alone gone on a shopping spree?

A parcel came from the village. This time it was typewritten and Pa James was not known to punch hard keys to the detriment of his wrinkling fingers. He wrote on, no matter how long the letter. Cell phones were very expensive and only a few city people owned it, even if you bought one for him he would not be able to use it, not because he couldn’t learn how to control the white man’s gadget but because there was no network reception.

 After the vacation of white men from the villages, the mast was brought down mysteriously and it took sweat, tooth, and nail to build it in the first place. If your father asked the local typist to type this letter then there was a problem. You decided not to read the letter.

Chief came by your house and was impressed with the furnishing of the one-room apartment. He didn’t seem angry at all and he didn’t apologize for disappearing for a month and putting you in a position where you had to cook your meals and sleep with a random man at the club in order to conserve costs and pay your bills, but you forgave him. His visits became more frequent, each time he came it seemed like he wanted to salvage what he could before vanishing again.

He didn’t last five minutes again, he would go multiple rounds of pleasure and ask that you cuddle. He said his doctor added energy-boosting supplements to his blood pressure dosage He told you that there was a problem with his account officer and he was buying shares so it was hard to withdraw cash and that’s why the cheque he gave you bounced four times.

You believed him knowing full well he had a lying tongue because it was easy to bask in the uncertainty of a lie than to face the harshness of the truth in your disbelief.
One month had passed since the letter.

The cheque continued to bounce. You sat up and wondered about your life, how you became so dependent on a man for upkeep. It seemed like you stuck with him to keep up with the expensive lifestyle of rich girls in your town and you had not thought about savings because cash was always a booty call away.
Tufiakwa!’ God forbid, you would often yell after two hours of deep worrying and a rush of goosebumps.

The first time you stole money, it was from your mothers' hymnals. You overheard her say that she had gathered money for her tithe and you were perplexed. The Family fed from hand to mouth yet she was willing to give away ten percent of the proceedings from her small stall. You didn’t understand how your mother could be bought into that sort of foolishness.

It was better you spent. the money than for her to give it to an Invisible God that only existed in her naivety. She punished you for stealing and made you kneel for two hours as she cried and prayed.

She anointed your head with oil that smelt more pleasant than the regular kernel oil used to eat roasted yam. She poured what he described as holy water which was just normal water from the borehole which she refilled and took to the parish twice a week for blessing and asked you to drink.

It was the holy water that would wash away all your infirmities. You never stole from her after that and this was not because you repented but because of the emptiness and fear in your mother's hollow eyes when she held your shoulders, shook you vigorously after the deliverance session and yelled

‘’ My child you will burn  because you cannot serve God and mammon!’’

Insomnia was not a condition you thought you could suffer because you always slept like a baby regardless. But for three nights you sat on your sleepless pillow replaying your life as though you were in a theatre and all the mishaps were just rehearsals for the grand show.

Chief Oladeji Olukanmi had just told you, Cynthia Nwakeogo Nnamdi, that he wanted a new life and his family was moving back to Nigeria. He callously spewed the fact that he could no longer afford you like you were some overpriced piece of figurine he had to dispose of.
’Baby  Cy you must understand the effect of the new government on the economy and my family ‘’ He said still panting from pleasure.

‘’My wife and children must not know about our flimsy friendship’’ your heart raced to wait for the bottom line.
’sorry I don’t have any more money to give you, but you know you are a sharp girl, I am sure you can find another man to leech unto’’ He said as he smiled and put on his agbada.

You watched him leave without uttering a word and since then you had spoken only a few words. As you sat sleepless on your bed you picked up your father's letter. Two weeks had gone by and you thought to do him the courtesy of at least reading it. He didn’t write the letter but they were his words. He had just been diagnosed it a heart disease and he wanted to see you before he passed on.

You didn’t know what to do with that information. once you thought of praying but to what, to whom? You understood for a fleeting moment what hope meant. You felt what it is to believe in something even if there was no guarantee the pain would pass, just the feeling that something divine was at the helm of affairs was a ray of hope.

You didn’t know whether to call on Amadioha and the ancestors like your heathen father praised who for some reason could not heal your father or strike chief down or to pray to the God of your mother and speak in unknown tongues like Lotanna.

Your mother died trying to birth another child because she said she must bear your father more children unless his seed would fly to various fields of desire and become a hunting weed.

None of them seemed worthy of the praise from your tongue but you were losing your mind so you prayed to both of them. You asked your ancestors to make chief pay for using you and dumping you like trash and you asked the Christian God of your mother for strength and prosperity.

Lotanna came to pick you up with her husband’s beetles. It had stickers, flyers, and posters plastered all over the windscreen and rearview mirror. She was going to introduce you to her pastor who was going to pray for you and lead you to salvation. On the way to church, she told you her husband dreamt of an angel sending them a new convertible and the lord was about to change her status for good.

The service was good save for the members who screamed ‘yes sir! Ride on sir!’ after every word from the pulpit. This was not the way your mother worshipped. Hers was more orthodox and solemn. You stayed and became a member of the Gods Radicals ministry and it was not long before you started casting out demons and speaking in a language that sounded like a posh incantation.

A letter came in that your father had died and he needed to be buried based on tradition. Lotanna said the pastor must pray for God to accept him in heaven. It was a futile idea to you so you did not indulge. You went home and home felt like homelessness.

Your father's Shrine had been demolished and it became a center for block Rosary, the sofa was soaked due to the leak on the roof and the whole house smelled like decayed rodent and bush meat. You let them bury him and dedicate his corpse to the gods. It almost felt surreal if it wasn’t a sad occurrence that you were the last of your father’s name, the only surviving of your mother’s seed. It was almost heroic.

You returned to Lagos a broke orphan who believed in a new God. The new pastor said forgiveness is a necessary virtue for a Christian. He said vengeance was for God and that God always repays the best way. Now that you see chief had been arrested for embezzlement and his properties seized, you believed in this new God even more.


I wrote this story with no clue what to do with it. What do you think about this story? Criticism, appraisal, anything. 







Friday, 13 March 2020

10 REASONS TO APPLY FOR THE NIGERIAN STUDENTS POETRY PRIZE

NSPP 2020 EDITION 

The Nigerian students poetry prize



DEADLINE: March 31st, 2020 

The Nigerian student's poetry prize is an initiative of Poets in Nigeria (PIN) aimed at stimulating literary creativity and encouraging critical thinking among Nigerian undergraduates. Since its inception in 2016 at the University of Ibadan, the prize has received about 2500 entries from students representing over 100 tertiary institutions (including universities, polytechnics, colleges of education, schools of nursing and seminary schools).
Reputed as the foremost poetry prize for Nigerian students, the NSPP has awarded over a million Naira (1,000,000) to winning entrants. 

10 REASONS TO APPLY FOR THE NIGERIAN STUDENTS POETRY PRIZE

  1. You will not die
  2. Right now you are not doing anything
  3. Whether you win or not you would have successfully written a poem (   bragging rights )
  4. You don't even have to be perfect. You just need to be articulate about expressing yourself in lines.
  5. If they were looking for already made poets. They know where to find them, this wouldn't have been open for you and me. 
  6. The poem doesn't have to Rhyme
  7. If you win that prize, it is enough to calm your nerves. 
  8. Nobody will beat you if you  don't make the cut 
  9. All I am saying is just write.  You never know.
  10.   Your poem will be published in an anthology selling across Nigeria if you make it to top 100(  I was in this category last year) let me show you
I didn't win but I made it to top hundred. My poem is in an actual book. Orgasmic!

If you win your poem will be used as the title of the Anthology! 
This could be you but are busy making excuses.

Successfully added PIN to my list of bragging and you can too
PRIZES 
Aside rewarding the  prize winners (top three entrants) with a total cash prize of ₦500,000, the top 100 entrants will each receive a certificate of excellence and complimentary a copy of the NSPP anthology which features their works.
  • 1st Prize – ₦250,000
  • 2nd Prize – ₦150,000
  • 3rd Prize – ₦100,000
  • Consolation Prize – ₦25,000 each for 4th and 5th best entrants 
ELIGIBILITY
  • Open to all Nigerian undergraduates studying in Nigeria and the diaspora
  • Entrants must be from a recognized tertiary institution
GUIDELINES
  • Submissions are to be made at http://nspp.poetsinnigeria.org.ng, with strict adherence to the instructions thereon.
  • Poems must be original intellectual property of the entrants.
  • An entrant is entitled to a single entry of 30 lines maximum.
  • No fixed themes. Entrants can write on any relevant theme.
  • Entries submitted must be previously unpublished. A submission discovered to have defaulted on this rule will be automatically voided.
  • All entrants are expected to purchase a minimum of one of the four NSPP anthologies uploaded on the submission portal.
  • Under no condition will the judges’ unanimous decisions be challenged.
  • Entering for the contest gives PIN automatic right to make use of entries as deemed appropriate.
  • Entries must be written in English. Native terminologies must be translated in English as footnotes.
  • Entrants should subscribe to for regular updates.

 This is a platform that is doing the Lord's work when it comes to giving young poets a voice. So jump on this. You don't have to be perfect just express yourself,it's poetry. I  happen to be the student Ambassador for Poets in Nigeria Nnamdi Azikiwe University. Let's put unizik on the submission map. 

For more inquiries visit their website at nspp.poetsinnigeria.org.ng

Sunday, 8 March 2020

WHAT DOES BEING A WOMAN MEAN TO YOU?

International womens day


What does being a woman mean to you? 

 International women's day is celebrated on the 8th of March Every year. This year I just sat wondering why we even celebrate Women's day. I have had this "Women" conversation with myself a lot of times but this time I decided to outsource it. So I asked these amazing women what womanhood meant to them and this what they had to say.

Purple flowers



Emma

 A man's beauty is pretty limited in my opinion.
To me, being a Woman is being several types of beautiful. Everywhere I look, I see women of different colors, shapes, and sizes, with so many different stories. And I think, all these women have one thing in common(besides gender). They're all beautiful in their own way. A man's beauty is pretty limited in my opinion. If it's not abs, height, beards and white teeth, then he doesn't make the cut. Sorry guys. 
Being a woman can be pretty annoying, putting it mildly. But when I remember that I can always do something different and still be absolutely pulchritudinous, there's no other place I'd rather be than in the body of a woman. 
It's amazing. 

ESTHER 

you don't know how strong you are until the only option you have is to be strong" 
I always tell people that "you don't know how strong you are until the only option you have is to be strong" 
To me, womanhood is a journey of self-discovery, learning and unlearning, realizing your purpose and staying strong. During this period, a lot of things that may be beyond your control will happen and strength becomes the only option. I've learned over the years that strength requires a lot of compromise in order not to be frustrated. Being a woman means finding ways to overcome whatever that wants to break you. 

As a young adult, I've learned that life happens and when it does, you can't help but be patient enough for things to fall into place.
Life is all about making choices and I always choose happiness. We plan our lives and expect things to work out as planned, forgetting that there's a supreme being that knows more than we do.

For the past three years, (2017 till date) I've realized that God does not make mistakes, once you seek Him first, He will direct you and you begin to understand that "His plans for you are of good and not of evil to give you a future, a hope, and an expected end".
I saw an interesting movie this year titled 'God calling' directed by BB Sasore. I always talk about the movie because I related so well to it. It described the journey of self-discovery which is not always a smooth one. God takes aways little things from us in order to prepare us for greater things.
Purple flower


EUNICE 

Being a woman to me means being fragile but agile.
I wish I had more concrete ways to describe what being a woman means to me, because for the most part, being able to identify as the female gender feels like a special gift to me. 
 Being a woman to me means to be emotional yet strong. Vulnerable in some certain situations and feeling frustrated about it but still going for it regardless. 
At some point being a woman means that I am expected to turn out a particular way, live up to a standard that God never even placed and if not, be judged by society and even loved ones.
Being a woman to me means being fragile but agile.
Beautiful and smart.
Vulnerable but capable.

VAL 

Who cares about the dress size
It’s all about what’s inside.

Being a woman is a struggle. An everyday challenge 
Her worth is measured by trivial things 
She is expected to change to fit into the idea of what a woman is supposed to be 

Being a woman is being strong
From day one, nature even has bestowed on us trying moments 
That just shows our determination and resilience
Women have been breaking barriers 
For generations and many more we’ve been changing the narrative 
We’ve embraced our uniqueness 

Being a woman is something special
I’m proud, happy and grateful to be part of a revolutionary specie, part of the struggle because I do love a good challenge 

Being a woman is a GIFT 
All women are beautiful 
Who cares about the dress size
It’s all about what’s inside.

 Nk 

Being a woman means u have to be twice as hardworking and as smart as men

Being a woman is a gift and privilege that and I'm happy I'm a woman.
Well, being a woman to me means a nurturer, caregiver, counselor, nurse, spiritual advisor and a lot more. Being a woman means u have to be twice as hardworking and as smart as men and the ability to be strong, independent and resourceful and being an advocate of change in this very society that looks down on the female gender. Basically, a woman is power.

Women


MARY 

A woman holds a strong fold of the home, yes the men are the heads of the family and women are the neck but let it be known to all that once the neck is being cut off the head goes down, 
Being a woman means there are so many areas and the unfolding of these areas can be tense and hard for me
I  see it as a privilege from God he has said, women are the weaker vessels but I've come to understand that I am at advantage. I feel blessed for the fact that I can to the best of strength, handle issues that people think too small for a woman

Being a woman really means a lot to me and to my family at large, I'm glad to grow up in a family where they believe in woman exercising their full rights and most especially education of a girl child. Not only is it about education and personal life
A woman holds a strong fold of the home, yes the men are the heads of the family and women are the neck but let it be known to all that once the neck is being cut off the head goes down, as a woman I'm glad that one day I will stand to be a stronghold of my own home.

CHUKSI 

Society wants to know what you have to offer. 
Women literally have to struggle to be seen as relevant and important in this country, there is more to beauty than just being beautiful. You have to have brains
A woman is one of the most beautiful creatures ever made. A woman..." can I compare her beauty to a summers day?"
Fair or Dark, a woman is incredibly unique in all. She is capable of reproducing.
 A writer once said " Everything beautiful has its moment and then passes away" but I believe that true beauty lies in the heart and character.
A woman, one of nature's gifts on earth.

Growing into a woman is an amazing adventure and YES I am on that path now.  It's funny how time flies, how you grow from being just a child to a teenage girl and then BOOM...YOU ARE A WOMAN. 
 At this point, everyone expects more from you. I just turned 19. Its been good, but I must confess, I have been on a series of anxiety attacks like I wonder what the future holds. At this age for most teenagers emotionally, they are either on a love ride, either hooked up, already found their "supposed" rip or just there. Brother and sisters am just there. 

Sometimes I wonder, will I ever be enough for a person.
Other reasons make me anxious. I
 am a law student, how's that going for me? Law is competitive after graduation from law school. All these thoughts come into my head as I grow. But it is still amazing how we stand strong after all.

 Society wants to know what you have to offer. 
Women literally have to struggle to be seen as relevant and important in this country, there is more to beauty than just being beautiful. You have to have brains. It's amusing how people underestimate me until they see my talent and ability. I realized that you can't have rainbow without a little rain so.
 Just the other day, I was at the school bank with my friend. we actually came to pay for something. Even the sun would bear me witness that we came before one guy with the blue-washed jeans.
The banker literally told us to wait behind...in his words" Don't you know he is a boy, you law girls like oppressing everyone you see in this faculty, he should come before you girls, now shift". 
My god, what is this country turning into, but then I remember that there is no cure for the foolish. I didn't want to make a scene, time was on our side that day, so I let him be.
 As a woman, self-worth is very important and it should be earned. No matter even in my next life. I would still choose to be a woman.
I AM BEAUTIFUL, I AM STRONG, I AM ENOUGH, I AM A WOMAN.
Women supporting women

CHIOMA 

You are not one who sees the expression of Love as a sign of weakness. You are also one who knows how to draw the boundary when your love is being taken for granted. 
Being a Woman is one of the most amazing experiences I've ever lived through and still living. I believe Women are ethereal beauties in the form of beings. 

•To me, being a woman means STRENGTH
You are aware of the obstacles in your way and the misogynistic expectations people have for you. Still, you decide on what you want while working hard to achieve your goals.  

•Being a woman means CONFIDENCE
To me, a woman is one who has a beautiful mixture of "Confidence and Humility" You don't compare yourself to others, you follow your own path, you are unapologetic about who you are, in the process being humble without getting arrogant or proud.

•Being a Woman means SELF IDENTITY
I believe being a woman is being aware of who you are. For instance, I being aware of who "Chioma Glory Nwabuzor" is. You are aware of your Strength, weakness, your fears and constantly making progress to overcome them. You knowing your Values and tour Worth (extremely important), not afraid to reveal your feelings and Speak up when you feel you ought to, all without fear or favor. Constantly on a Journey of learning, unlearning new things about yourself, not letting situations, circumstances and people define you. Basically knowing the beautiful and unique being that you are. 

•Being a Woman means INDEPENDENCE
Independence doesn't mean not asking for help.  An Independent person is one who has learned to live on their own and support themselves. 
I believe Self-support and Self hype is the greatest 'cus honey, YOU as a woman are your greatest Cheerleader. An Independent woman is strong emotionally, mentally, physically and not one who sees herself as a fragile helpless creature who doesn't have the potentials to achieve much. To me, being a woman means being Independent and believing in yourself. 

•Being a Woman means having SELF-RESPECT
You have that deep admiration for yourself, your abilities, your qualities are what I feel being a woman is. 
Respecting yourself to stand up for your beliefs, 
Respecting yourself enough to know that the level of suffering or pain you can withstand is not the true test of womanhood, 
Respecting yourself to leave toxic people and environments that no longer serve you in a positive way, 
Respecting yourself to fight for your dreams and goals, 
Respecting yourself to Love YOU the way you deserve. 

•Being a woman means being an embodiment of LOVE. 
A woman is one who is Loving. It's more like her nature to take care of others while it all flows naturally. You are not one who sees the expression of Love as a sign of weakness. You are also one who knows how to draw the boundary when your love is being taken for granted. 

•Being a Woman means having FAITH
Lastly, I believe you being a Woman means having a Faith, staying grounded in it and also true to it. Personally, this Faith equals Godliness, i.e having the attributes of Christ that would make the title of "Christian" which I claim to be real. 

This is what being a woman means to me

I think the conclusion of the matter is that being a woman is not one thing and it might not mean you it means to or them. So please tell me in the comments what does being a woman mean to you. Whether you are a male or female.

Friday, 28 February 2020

HAIR GOALS + WHY I CUT MY HAIR

Low cut


I have had the big chop three times in total for different reasons.

The first time; I was in primary four and I had long straight hair. I had just written the common entrance examination to get into secondary school and I was so excited. I passed the exam and I was to go to a boarding school where everybody shaved their hair.

I was so elated that I couldn't wait to go to school and tell my classmates that I was leaving them. The Joy of having to skip primary 5( a whole year) was overwhelming. I didn’t even wait for the actual school preparations to begin before I decided to cut my hair.

My mum agreed because according to her since I was born I had never cut my hair.
I was now a baldie ready to go to high school. But guess what people. When It was time to go for the interview and return to school. My parents said I was too young, that they just wanted to test my intelligence.

 Ladies and gentlemen, I didn’t know how to react to the fact that I cut my hair for no reason. I took my low cut to school and I had to handle the numerous questions and occasional stares from classmates and teachers in my school.

Low cut

The second time: In all honesty, I just woke up and cut the hair. I have good hair genes and my hair was perfectly fine. I just sort Of felt It wasn’t long enough and It was relaxed( not that relaxing your hair is bad). I just saw some people on their natural hair and I loved it. I didn’t know that my hair could be that beautiful growing out on its own. I wanted to try it.

The third time: it is safe to say here that I was nearly flogged for cutting my hair. My natural hair was 2 years old.

Natural hair
I can't believe I shaved off this bulb of joy
Afro


It was soft, afro, long, talk about hair goals. There was not a day I wore the fro out that someone did not comment on it. I didn’t use any product asides shea butter, but it was hard for people to believe. Some months before I cut it. I went to loosen my faux locs and the hairstylist cut my hair so much so that It became unequal. I cried. I am not good at showing  Emotions but man! E pain me.  

But because I serve a living God it literally took about 2-3 months for it to grow back and sort of equalize.
My Hair was amazing again and I didn't use any product.
I couldn’t even believe the growth but I still went ahead and cut it. That morning I washed my hair measured the length, then I  went to the barber's shop with my brother to cut it.

Months before that I had been talking frequently about shaving my hair and my people thought it was mere banter. The barber asked me If I was cutting all that hair because I didn’t have money to make it(lol). Another said I’d be ugly If I cut it(  but guess who is a baby girl and slaying the cut)

Beautiful

Some girls at the shop were ready to take the strands of my hair and attach it to their own If they could.
 It just made me realize how much value people attach to hair.
My friends found out I cut my hair, see some of their hilarious responses.
 I'd share the ones I can find.

WhatsApp chat
WhatsApp chat
WhatsApp chat
Now on a serious note, how much does your hair mean to you? do you think it defines you? Do you think your hair Is the reason for your beauty?
Do you think hair Is just hair?
I never gave deep thought to hair, growing or cutting It has always been an Impulsive decision for me. It depends on my feeling or mood,  no due deliberation needed at all. I just do it.
 I honestly believe that I am beautiful regardless and my beauty doesn’t lie under hair or suffice when I have hair.
My opinion about hair is varied though.

Hair

First, I believe hair is just hair so you can decide to cut it or leave it. It does not make you less of a girl or boy. I also understand that hair can be very deep for some people. Hair symbolizes so much to many. It can be a way to express our creativity and culture

E.g.  I have heard that some women have been called unkempt for not having straight hair, their natural hair was described as nappy and unsuitable for the workplace. So women were forced to put chemicals on their hair just to meet up to a certain standard.  

In some cultures, a woman must always have hair and when she cuts it, it is a sign of despair, mourning or a sign that she has been ostracised.  So when I say hair is just hair, what I really mean is that you are so fearfully, wonderfully and beautifully made for something as replaceable as hair to define you.

It's just hair and it can grow back. Whether you texturize, relax or leave your hair in its natural form, It’s okay. Just make sure you are doing it for the right motive.

Don’t relax your hair because of societal pressure or influence from the western world. Don’t be team natural because it’s becoming a trend and hashtag. Do your hair how you want to do your hair because you like it and you feel good with it. I personally love my hair natural and may never relax it because I think I look cuter in my afro.
Hair

I know people who might never carry natural hair because to them it’s difficult to maintain. Let’s be honest natural hair sometimes is not the easiest to maintain especially If you have strong hair. So just do you!

Here is a fact about hair that blew my mind!  
Did you know that some hairstyles we're essential for the survival of black people? Our ancestors placed rice seeds and gold between two sections of hair. They did that so that if they are captured and forced across the voyage on the Atlantic they will at least have a small amount of food. 
 Please tell me in the comments. how much does hair mean to you? Would you ever consider cutting your hair? How do you like your hair natural or permed? You can tell me any other thing you know about hair and what symbolizes.  I will love to read from you. 

Monday, 17 February 2020

WHO TOLD US THESE THINGS

Image via @unsplash
I write a lot of poetry because poetry is my first love when it comes to writing. I just realized I don't post it here as much.
Disclaimer: My imagination runs wild , sometimes it is calm and collected other times it attempts the impossible and most times, it's just simple and searching.

My inspiration comes at odd times too because I type this in the middle  of a Criminal law class. I am risking my phone being seized so  please Give  me feedback after reading.

 WHO TOLD US THESE THINGS 

i)
That the heart can be broken
This same heart that pumps blood
Through a pipeline of veins
What is capable of leaving this
Powerhouse broken?

ii)
That a man can be snatched by a woman
This Four limbed breathing mammal
 The supposed stronger vessel
How can he be collected like a common purse?

iii)
That we are really humans
We with skin the colour of Earth and sand
We with bones as hard as rocks
We With with hair like leaves and grasses
We with limbs like the roots of an Iroko
We with blood flowing like water!
Who do we think we are?

iii)
That we have a limit to what we can do
How can this be?
When our creator was uncreated
With the audacity to walk on water
And the guts to look death  in the eye
And call it's bluff!
What can even dare to stop us?

Iv)
That we can not exist in multiple places
 Is this true?
When our imagination take trips to the
 Past, present and future at will
 When our memories  can travel to depths
And time flies to ensure we don't dwell too deep
 Who then says we are not omnipotent?

What do you think of this poem? Drop a line or two regarding anything you find absurd or ridiculous. This should be fun.

Friday, 7 February 2020

I DON'T LIKE EVE

I enjoy reading stories of great women in the bible because it inspires me a lot and it makes me realize that Jesus Himself wants every woman to succeed.
Beautiful girl


 I love the leadership of Deborah, the courage and determination in Esther, the discerning spirit of Abigail, the prayer power of Hannah, the openness of Martha to receive counsel, the virtue of Mary among others but you see Eve I don’t like her.
"She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it" (Genesis 3:6).
I spent time trying to understand why somebody chose an Apple over God's instruction like it wasn’t even chocolate or Ice cream or pineapple. It was Apple! Apple that is not even that sweet.
Did she not find it suspicious that a serpent came to talk to her about a tree?

Her disobedience is believed to have been the cause of the pain women have to go through today. The labor pains, the cramps, the desire for men, etc.
Brown skin girl


I have always imagined interviewing Eve, I would ask her questions like
Did the Apple then taste like cold Ice cream? or were the other fruits in the garden of Eden sour?
 What do you think? Because I thought Eve should have known better than to eat the fruit.

But
It’s funny how much we blame Eve, (yes me and you) that we easily forget that women like Jezebel and Delilah existed. Jezebel that convinced her husband to kill an innocent man, she promoted sexual immorality and purported to kill the prophets of God. Or is it Delilah that Samson loved yet she betrayed him for money.

There were other women who messed up in the bible but all of us want to chew Eve that ate an apple. I mean I get why it’s like that but let me open your eyes a little.


Many of us are like Eve, heck we don’t even have the right to Judge her. Now ask yourself how many times you knew the right thing to do yet you did otherwise. There are times when we knew better but didn’t do better. At this point let she who is without sin be the first to exit this blog post.

We can blame Eve all we want but let us not forget she was the first woman on earth, first to be a wife, first to be a mother and a woman with all the responsibilities that came with it. How many times have you started something for the first time and suddenly became a master at it?

Eve was a woman with many firsts and she handled a lot.  From leaving paradise to knowing one of her sons killed the other. Imagine her pain. We should be showing empathy. Not to justify her sin but think about it.
She don chop am be say she don chop am. she cannot vomit the apple!
Some people have argued that she had God and Adam to guide her so there was no excuse. That's true but some of us have God, our pastors, our parents; friends, etc and we still mess up.
 Most of us are easily influenced just like Eve so Instead of blaming Eve we must learn from her mistakes and understand.

Fun fact Eve was very influential all she had to do was give the fruit to Adam, biblically Adam was the one who heard from God about this fruit issue so he basically chose his wives voice over God's voice. ( we will talk about the fight of voices in another blog post).
Abram followed Sarai’s advice instead of trusting God’s timing.  Jacob deceived his own father because of the words of his mother, Rebekah.
King Ahasuerus listened to Esther and the Jews were spared.  Deborah accompanied Barak and a battle was won.
The bottom line is women are the most influential creatures on earth quote me anywhere.

I didn’t like Eve because I could not see past her sin and that's just Toxic. God forgave Eve and I am sure He loved her. It was just important for her to take responsibility for her actions. Eve's experience is enough tutelage for women all over the world.
As a matter of fact, I think Eve was a phenomenal woman. Do you agree?

I see Eve in myself sometimes, and you don’t need to look too much to see her in yourself too. It's the little things like when we see something nice and we lose our home training just to get it. Or the times when we choose our desires over God's voice. It’s a lot to handle.

All I am here to say is don’t be like Eve. But at the same time don’t be a hater. Lol, it is very easy to criticize something you didn’t participate in. Just be more constructive with your criticism.

We bash Eve for wanting to be “more like God” when she ate the fruit. I thought God's plan is for us to be like Him!
 Then I realized something that Eve’s sin was not wanting to be like God but wanting to do so  Without first trying to seek God and have a relationship with Him. He would have given her wisdom and more had she followed  simple instruction.

I know this post is all over the place but it’s just how it is in my head.

IPhone 11
This is sonia not Eve and she is a darling, you can follow her on Instagram @itsoni_ee

Here are a few lessons to learn from Eve

  • Be thankful and Focus on the things you have: you know how Eve left the many trees just to chase that one tree that caused the fall of man, that’s exactly how some of us focus on the things we don’t have that others do e.g. the dream house, the perfect body, etc and this breeds jealousy.
  • Don’t doubt the voice of God if he says don’t do it then don’t do it. As a woman you wield so much power and influence, please don’t use it like Eve.
  • You are not in control: The fundamental problem for Eve was that she wanted to determine what was right and what was wrong, instead of obeying her Creator.
To be continued.



Friday, 24 January 2020

GRATITUDE + 10 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME

Gratitude

I started writing this post at exactly 11:22 pm not knowing what to type.
To be honest, I didn’t think I was qualified to tell you anything because 2020 did not start well for me, asides the emotional stress, it was that time of the month and if you know cramps well then you can understand that it has the ability to make you question your whole existence. Like whom did we really offend?

 I didn’t know how to come and wish you a happy new year when I had been clearly unhappy. The mantra “New Year new me” was littered all over Instagram and I just rolled my eyes at them. I started building resentment and self-doubt when I saw other peoples achievements in the past year.  I began second-guessing myself. I am sure if I checked my blood pressure at the time it would have been high.
Earings

 It took me a while to realize I was doing the wrong thing. I was breathing and sane yet I could not say a thank you to God for keeping me alive. Ingratitude is the sole source of unhappiness and this is how we limit ourselves. We don’t appreciate our present level yet we hope to attain greater heights.

Ungratefulness makes you focus on those things you lack instead of the abundance and utility of what you already have in the present. And when you don't appreciate where you are now you may never get ahead.

Just be grateful and give yourself peace. I have learned to move at my own pace and motivate myself daily because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. My purpose is not a relay race, so I will only move on Gods timing.

Today is my birthday and I am grateful for life

  • I am grateful for the ability to write
  • I am grateful for the kind of friends I have made over time.
  • I am grateful for Family and
  • I am grateful for you, yes you reading this. What are you grateful for? tell me in the comment section. It can be anything!


Portrait


Today is my birthday and because I love myself. I bless myself and I declare that I become more purpose-driven. That my voice is heard across continents. That my life becomes a model for people to be inspired. That my words reach and sooth the unreached. That I become prosperous.
Say a prayer for me too, bless me.

Just for fun, here are 10 random facts about me. Tell me random facts about you in the comment section. I would love to know them really.

Lip gloss

Here's mine.

Brown skin girl
  • I have never tasted Pizza in my life (guess my age)
  • I don’t like boiled eggs
  • I think plantain is overrated
  • I don’t read as much as people think I do but I am a fast reader
  • Chubby boys are my spec
  • I am allergic to roadside soya milk
  • I don’t really like the color red
  • I have never watched high school musical 
  • My love language is physical touch.
  • My favorite thing to eat is beans or bread.

Can you guess anything about me, if you are right I'd email you a personal heartfelt prayer and I'll call you.

cheers.

Wednesday, 11 December 2019

JOIN HUB INSPIRATIONAL IN GIVING BACK TO THE SOCIETY THROUGH THEIR "PROJECT CHARITY AND IMPACT (PCI)"

 No human being was made for the streets yet there are millions of people making a living from the streets. There are homeless people, feeding from hand to mouth and brutally exposed to harsh weather conditions because there is lack of food and shelter.
We must understand that it was never a choice for them to make because sane human beings don’t choose to be in disadvantaged positions, particularly the innocent children roaming the streets, negotiating starvation with safety.
“There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.” 
― John Holmes
It is true that poverty has dug deep into the textiles of our society today but what is untrue is the saying that we cannot do anything to mitigate, eradicate and change the situation.
charity is willingly given from the heart- Rush Limbaugh
It was mother Theresa who said ‘’if you can't feed a thousand people, then feed just one’’ this is to say that nobody is too small to make an impact and it doesn’t matter where we are or the little we think we have, there is always room to be kind and charitable.
This is why Miss Ebere Chinelo Ezeigwe and her team have created the PCI(project charity and impact) to reach youths, adults and children in order to reduce hunger, poverty and ensure Good health and wellbeing. The beautiful thing about this project is that it focuses not only on nourishing young bodies but also minds. To grow their intellect and equip them for the modern society.

Project Charity and Impact (PCI) is a CSR (Corporate Social Responsibility) initiative of Hub Inspirational. It is aimed at giving back to the society, reaching out to the less privileged, igniting hope and love, and making ourselves better through volunteering, giving and other positive vibes of sacrifices.

This project is captured in goal 1,2, and 3 of the UN 2020 SDGs. The target includes any class of less privileged. The outreach could include intellectual programs in the future. PCI kicked off her maiden edition on the 14th of January 2018, at Abakaliki Ebonyi State. The project has been pushing and improving since then
This 3rd edition looks forward to reaching out to the rural areas of Akwa Ibom State with food items and free medical services on 26th January 2019

Charity

Charity
Photo from Bennett Tobias via unsplash

In Miss Ebere's words "I want to give back to the society through charity works (the drive is unstoppable), free trainings(when we must have gotten sponsors), so we can build enough impact in the world.
My target is mainly the growing generations (children and mostly youths) because they are the future we see,  but we sometimes remember the aged and the less privileged generally."

From Bill wegener via unsplash
Charity

This is a worthy cause to take on because there are lots of lives you can change by joining this project. There are thousands of talents wasting because they lack opportunity and chance. Be a part of something that gives people life, hope, purpose, comfort, reason and innovation. I volunteer and you should too.

Give

Charity

 To volunteer or sponsor and for further inquires contact them via the cell numbers 08169693842 & 08063825792.

Friday, 29 November 2019

SELF LOVE IS NOT VAIN

Red

When I wanted to write this, I had a lot of thoughts like is it even Valentines Day? What do you even know about self-love? Is this blog for you or for people? Etc.
 Well, the reasons I shouldn’t write this blog post are the same reasons I am writing it. First, It would be such a shame and a great disservice to humanity if the only time we want to talk about love or show love is during valentine’s day. Secondly, self-love is a daily, reaffirming and conscious effort and we have so much trivialized it. Thirdly this blog is our blog and we will learn together.
“Eat as you love yourself. Move as you love yourself. Speak as you love yourself. Act as you love yourself.”  


THE PROBLEM WITH SELF LOVE  

    Often times we seek attention and validation from other people so much that we forget that it is our duty first to validate ourselves before others. I wanted this post to be a love letter to myself, something you can read to yourself too but once I start typing the spirit starts leading and trust me to follow Amen!

 I think the problem we have is that we expect so much love from others when we have not given that measure of love to ourselves. If we are going to be logical about this why should I even love you if you don’t love yourself? If you don’t value yourself what will be my gain if I choose to value you?
“Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.” 

IS SELF LOVE EVER ENOUGH?

 Back in secondary school, I wished someone would send me love letters. I had friends who received lots of them and I didn’t know then whether I wanted them because I loved to read or because I felt unloved. PS: I am more likely to read and reply to a text or email than I would receive calls or even call back. I think if you know me well you should know this by now.

 My birthday was the best period for me in secondary because I got a lot of handmade birthday cards and notes. People wrote sweet things about me and I still have most of them.

These cards were almost as sweet if not sweeter than the love letters I read from my classmates/seniors. some of their boyfriends were bad writers and poets but ok ( people of God, I am not being a hater, It’s true) I mean what is the meaning of ‘’the color of your daywear takes my breath away’’  mtcheww uncle go and buy pink oxygen and fix your respiratory problem abeg.
Love letter
Image by Claudius Hegedus via unsplash


I wanted my own Love letter but now I know better. I was not satisfied with birthday cards I wanted a boy to validate me, to exaggerate my qualities and give me butterflies.

 I didn’t love myself enough to know that I didn’t need a few words from the opposite sex to feel loved and appreciated. This is what we do to ourselves and its bad. When you don’t love yourself enough anybody can give you half baked attention and you will take it like that because you don’t know your worth.
“Loving yourself isn’t vanity. It’s sanity.” – Andre Gide. 

THE BIBLE AND SELF LOVE 

You know in the bible It is written that If you don’t love you don’t know God and If you don’t know God my guess is you will not make heaven, stay with me, now God says love your neighbor as yourself meaning that you are loving this neighbor with the measure of love you have for yourself and if you don’t have it, well you can’t give what you don’t have.  Also even if you manage to love this neighbor and you don’t love yourself you still don’t know God because Love is missing somewhere and you still may not enter the kingdom.  self-love is required for you to enter the kingdom of God. The same goes for forgiveness, forgive yourself for that avoidable mistake or whatever thing you think you did! it goes both ways. 
When it comes to relationship I have a slight problem with this ‘ my other half, my missing rib thing’ because sometimes it is largely misunderstood and it lures some people into thinking that every human being is incomplete and needs another human being somewhere to complete them. Build the love and fulfillment for yourself. You are a complete human being already, you are not half baked or half-formed. God only said it is not good for man to be alone. 
He did not say I have made man Incomplete. you are whole and hopefully, you meet someone who is whole and together you both become wholesome. You don’t even need to start measuring your worth, you were born worthy.
love
image by Tim mossholder via Unsplash
“A healthy self-love means we have no compulsion to justify to ourselves or others why we take vacations, why we sleep late, why we buy new shoes, why we spoil ourselves from time to time. We feel comfortable doing things that add quality and beauty to life.” – Andrew Matthews 
love
Image from @contentpixie via Unsplash

HERE IS MY SELF LOVE POEM TO YOU
Dear girl/ boy, man/ woman
I look at you and I see the essence of living, the color of your eyes paint a perfect picture and I don’t know a better view. 
I gaze at the wonder Lines gracing your palms and I wonder what beauty lies in our path as I take your palm in mine.
 I may not know what it means to be perfect but I know you’re the most perfect version of imperfection there is.
 Every arc and curve on your body is an atlas outline of the beauty in your making. I want to ask the creator what Mother nature and Earth did to deserve such a bedazzling creature.
 I feel the texture of your hair, even the baldness of your scalp and all I can say is there is no uneasiness there. It is smooth enough to fit any crown, to lead any troop, to be queen, to be king, to be anything.
 I am in awe of your lips, how your tongue touches your teeth then forms a mini pout before your teeth slightly bit your lower lip into an invitation when you pronounce the word love. I love everything that you are becoming, everything that you are and are not. I accept you. I take you. You are enough.
1john 4:8; Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love

Whole + whole = wholesome
“The fact that someone else loves you doesn’t rescue you from the project of loving yourself.”
So this is a love letter to me and to you. Read it to yourself first before anyone else.



I am out please; it is not time to write my wedding vows. All I am saying is your matter and you matter equally so give yourself love and attention. Eat out by yourself some time, Netflix and chill alone sometimes. Now tell me one thing you love about you whether it is your physical appearance or character traits then write them down.

 I love that I can hype people, I love my Lips when I wear lipsticks or glosses and I love my collar bones even though they are almost nonexistent. Let’s hear yours.
Lip gloss




Thursday, 14 November 2019

Heal: You can't get even with everybody!


Nature

How to heal

 I ask because I have stalled on this subject and I found that it is deeper than cuts, burns, open wounds etc. I am talking about the kind of healing that comes from within, the kind that gives you this freedom and weightlessness that is almost orgasmic, now I don’t mean sexual healing( it is part of it, I am just not the go-to person for that subject) so I am speaking  of spiritual healing, one that comes from the within, from the heart, it’s a mental thing.

It is impossible to talk about this kind of healing without forgiveness, see grudge is like an open wound that exists internally, you continue to bleed inside till your blood becomes stale and your body turns grey maybe not physically but something dies inside of you when you don’t lay aside every weight. I watched a video online and I heard a woman rant about how she had been duped by her husband and how she suffered for years due to the loss, what struck me was her response when she was asked If she had forgiven him, she looked the camera in the eye and she said ‘’I will never forgive him till I die."

I get that it is hard but we have so much normalised resentment to the point that we feel it comes from a place of power but the truth is forgiveness is really an attribute of the strong and there is nothing powerful about holding pain captive. Funny thing is you are the one carrying the burden, for all you know the offender has moved on and you are still here sulking.

What does it mean to heal?

To heal means to become sound and healthy again and it is not even an easy task, everybody has something they need to heal from and sadly it may be little things, your friend spoke to you rudely and forgot to apologise, you feel your parents are not treating you right, you just got out of a bad  relationship etc, truth is some of us are out here yelling I am over it! It’s not that deep! I have moved on! but we both know that’s a lie that studied abroad.

Sometimes we claim to have forgiven yet we secretly nurse the idea for an opportunity to show ourselves. If given a chance we would retaliate as per let me give them a taste of their own medicine. On a lighter note I remember fondly a time when my friend finished a drink we were to meant to share (Capri Sonne(strawberry flavour) to be precise.

I was looking forward to drinking this chilled yumminess because who doesn't like Capri Sonne.

She was sipping this thing with so much energy and I just thought no she can't possibly finish it , she might just be ravenously drinking her share but behold and lo I heard the "krr krr" sound as she squeezed the hell out of this juice. I was really thirsty.
 I remember just feeling ah! my friend, I love you but I must do my own. That scenario may just sound fleeting or trivial and Indeed it was. we genuinely laughed about it but this is how we often react to bigger situations.

we say I forgive you but I pray I get the chance to retaliate so that we can be even but if you get even with everybody you can't beat the odds. It is just vain and self deceitful to hold back while claiming to have let go. People will intentionally hurt you and you must let go because hurt people hurt other people and it raises a generation of broken people.

 So dear Capri Sonne snatching friend if I ever finish a drink meant for both of us do know that it will not be intentional and l am not retaliating or hurting, it will truly be a friendly gesture with a sprinkle of tough love Haq Haq Haq.

Healing does not mean a return to the original state, it is simply accepting to move on despite the limitation. There are physically challenged people who have become great today but they are still physically challenged then there are physically challenged people who continue complaining and falling in and out of depression-like it is some treasure hunt, yes people are different but sometimes it is the choice that makes the difference.

 Where does healing start 

 Healing starts from the mind and if you can’t close that portal of anger or revenge in your mind there will be no open doors for you in reality. Healing is different from curing, you can cure without healing but you cannot heal without curing. Curing is removing evidence of the disease, the hurt, pain, etc but healing is to be made whole. Biblical example; when Jesus took leprosy from the 10 lepers, they left and only one came back to give thanks and Jesus said ‘’ Rise and go thy faith has made thee whole” why did he say that if healing and curing were the same things? Basically, 9 were cured and only one was healed. When you are healed everything about you is intact, preserved and prosperous. This is not a sermon so  go read Luke chapter 17:11-19

Jesus asked, “Weren’t all ten healed? Where are the other nine? Didn’t anyone else return and give praise to God except this outsider?”
Then Jesus said to him, “Get up and go. Your faith has healed you.”
 Healing is deeper and must always come from within. So forgive yourself, heal! yes you are getting old and you want to be young and getting it, yes you may not be doing well in school, yes you don’t have money, life will always happen but heal so that you can move on. What we do most times is temporary we just cure the situation and it only lasts a while that’s why people keep getting sad and depressed over one particular issue.

Happy


I don’t know if I was coherent enough but learn now that nobody owns your happiness, learn to be thankful and forgive and forget, yes you can forget! Forgetting doesn’t mean your brain will go blank it just means you are mature enough to open up a new chapter without flipping through the previous one. Give that person another chance in your heart.

Give yourself another chance and if you fail today, heal and start again, now take two minutes to think of that friend or family member or anybody you vowed not to forgive or you partly forgave, you may not call them or anything just take a deep breath and say ‘’I let go’’ free them and free yourself! Take back your peace of mind.

Read Titilope Sonuga's How to heal a wound I think it's amazing 

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